At The Hip
by hayboo
Summary: I don't want our lives to change Edward, I like them just how they are." "Everything changes, Swan" He wasn't kidding.
1. Introduction

_...Introduction..._

"Bella Swan, get your ass up!"

I think I'm dreaming and if I'm not he's a dead man.

"Bella, the cold water is in the bucket..."

My eyes shoot open and now I'm sure he's a dead man.

"Alright, I've given you fair warning."

"Edward I swear on everything Holy, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna..."

"Greaaaat you're up." he says after opening the door to my bedroom.

I groan and lay back down and throw my arm over my eyes, "Remind me to tell dad to change the lock on the house."

"Right, cause he wouldn't give me a key. Scoot over."

I do as he demands.

I take my arm away from my face and look over at him. He's perfect. Hair that goes every which way, which I secretly think he does so girls want to fix it aka run their fingers through it, green eyes that won't let you look away unless you're really practiced in doing so,  
and a body that no high school senior should have.

Edward Cullen is my best friend.

We met the first day of first grade when he helped me up after I fell over nothing. We have rarely spent time apart since then. "Attached at the hip" I believe is the term most everyone uses when referring to us. We're fine with that term because it's the truth, you almost never see one without the other.

Today is our first day of our last year of high school.

It's a special day, a sad day, a happy day.

"Are you ready for the year that's supposed to change our lives?" he asks with a slight smirk.

"I dont want to change our lives Edward, I like them just how they are."

"Everything changes, Swan"

He wasn't kidding.

* * *

_hey guys!_

_so this is my first attempt at writing fan fiction. so please be honest and constructive!_

_i'd like to thank **kellyprovence** for pre-reading for me. she is one of the most awesome people in the fandom. no joke._

_anyway, i'm posting the introduction and the first chapter...& as far as a posting schedule, i don't have one nailed down yet. my 11 month old keeps me pretty busy when my job doesn't. i'll try really hard to make it one chapter a week though. _

_thanks again for reading!_

_& if ya wanna ... follow me on twitter. **hayboo05**._

_-rachel._


	2. Chapter One

_...Chapter One..._

_"_You're so slow Bella, get a move on"

"Since when are you in a hurry to get to school?" I ask, slipping on my flip flops.

"The sooner we get there, the sooner it'll be over. Duh."

I rolled my eyes.

"Duh? Really?"

He smirked and headed toward the front door.

Forks High. We only had 10 months left and then we'd move on. The thought both excited and scared me. I can't remember not being around Edward.

I was going to Indiana after graduation. Notre Dame has had a spot for me for six weeks and I was so excited when I got the early acceptance letter in the mail.

Edward is heading for Harvard or he will be when he gets that thick envelope in the mail. He was born to be an attorney. The boy could argue and make his point the only one that you saw. He got a lot of practice with me.

We pulled into the parking lot with about 15 minutes before the first bell rang. I never drove to school, Edward hated my truck and was counting down the days till Christmas, when I would be trading it in.

He wanted me to get a Volvo to match his. I wasn't sold on the idea but he promised that would change before the time came to get rid of my old Chevy.

I had no doubt he was right.

I'm not a push over. I'm actually very hard headed and I win a lot of battles, I just know what battles are worth trying to win.

When Edward turns off the car, I sigh. I don't know why really, I just get this feeling that what he said at my house was right.

Things are going to change this year.

"What's up, Swan?" I've never liked being called by last name but Edward has called me that since we met. 'your necks pretty like a swan and your last name is swan...so I'm gonna call you that. K?' I shrugged and let it go.

"I just want high school over with. With as little collateral damage as possible."

Edward shook his head slightly with furrowed brows, "Collateral damage? Bella this isn't a war zone. Senior year is the easy part."

"We'll see." I said reaching for the door handle.

I wasn't usually so moody but today has just felt weird. Off. I was hoping it was just because I was up two hours earlier than I was used to. Summer vacation never lasted long enough.

"You're not goin all emo Bella on me are you?" Edward asked when he was out of the car too.

I smiled, " No worries. I'm just havin an off day is all. It could have been my wake up call."

"Do you know how many girls in this school would kill to have me be the one who woke them up in the morning?", he asked throwing his arm around my shoulders.

I roll my eyes.

"Lucky me."

Edward gives my shoulders a squeeze and kisses my temple.

"Lucky you."

_

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Please let me know what you think!_

_again, i'm gonna try to get the next chapter up sometime next week but dont quote me._

_i'll see how this does and what not._

_thanks again to **kellyprovence** for pre-reading this chapter! she's awesome. check out her o/s "Bella's Gift"_

_thanks so much for reading!_

_& if ya wanna...follow me on Twitter -**hayboo05**._

_-rachel._


	3. Chapter Two

_At The Hip Chapter 2_

_**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**_

_**

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"Bella, you know you want to go!"

I rolled my eyes at Alice. She has been trying to get me to go to a 'back to school' party for the last 20 minutes, despite me having told her no atleast 10 times.

Alice Brandon has been my best girlfriend since she moved here in the fifth grade. We are complete opposites in a lot of ways but alike in some significant ones. The most obvious difference is outward appearance. Alice barely stands five feet tall, has short black hair that is always styled and looks great, she has ice blue eyes and a petite frame that makes her look far more fragile than she really is.

I, on the other hand, am five-five, have long brown hair that decides to be wavy every now and then, plain brown eyes, and I have a few curves but nothing to brag about.

"Please, Bella!", she asked again dramatically classping her hands together. "You know it'll be fun and Edward will go the minute you mention going...so it's not like you'll be standing by yourself."

"Alice, we both know the only reason you wanna go is because Rosalie's brother is gonna be there."

"So?"

"We've known Rose for half of our lives, you don't need me to go with you. You can flirt shamelessly without my presence," I said, turning to head toward Spanish, the second class we had together.

"Bella Swan, you need a man. I didn't want to just come out and say it but you leave me no choice.", she paused and her eyes began to roam around as if lost in thought. Stupidly, I thought she was done. When her eyes lit up and a smirk appeared on her face, I knew she wasn't. "A peen that isn't attached to a certain Cullen you'll never admit to having feelings for! This will give you a chance to meet new people!"

I almost tripped over nothing and Alice ran right into the back of me due to my sudden stop.

"Alice! You swore you'd never speak those words again, I was drunk! And meet new people? Everyone that will be there, will be from our class!"

Alice sighed, "Right Bella and you didn't mean anything you said after what was it, three beers? Plus, Jasper is bringing some of his college friends home."

"It doesn't matter. If it'll get you to shut up then fine, I'll go. Just don't ever bring that up again."

I entered the class room before she had a chance to respond.

I didn't drink often, but when I did, I often came down with word vomit, of the truthful variety. I'm also a light weight when it comes to the amount of alcohol I can consume, which is why one night at Roaslie's, after drinking three beers, I came clean to both Rose and

Alice about my some what confusing feelings for Edward. The girls didn't seem surprised from what I remember but they did console me when my confession brought on tears. It was the first time I'd vocalized how I felt about him and I made a promise it'd be the last.

The next morning, I swore both of them to secrecy and forbid them from ever voicing my words.

It worked until today.

Thankfully, Alice didn't bring up the whole 'feelings for Edward' thing again. So I wasn't really fearing lunch like I had been during our group learning in Spanish. We never group learn, we group gossip, sleep, or copy off the smart fluent kid. Thankfully Alice chose to sleep.

As I made my way to lunch, I thought about what Alice had said. I mean, I had feelings for Edward, some went past just friends but

honestly I wasn't sure to what extent or how receptive he'd be to said feelings. Not that I'd ever tell him...I was afraid of very little,

but my feelings for Edward...well they scared the hell out of me.

I was knocked out of my inner thinking rather abruptly when Edward "gently" bumped into me.

He was always doing that and I didn't mind really, the contact was nice. It always made my heart beat faster, and he was always so warm. I looked forward to it.

"Damn Cullen, a little harder and you'd be pickin me up off the floor." I said rubbing my shoulder.

"You're just a wimp. Toughen up Swan."

"Right. That's it. I'm just a wimp." I replied rolling my eyes.

"Hey, party Friday at the Hale's, we in?" he asked opening the lunchroom doors.

I sighed, "I suppose, Alice already wrangled me in. How'd you hear about it? Rose can't stand you."

"I know and how it hurts me." he said putting his hand over his heart in feigned sorrow. "Emmett told me, apparently he's got balls of steel. Dating Rosalie and all that. I mean he'd have to to put up with her for an extended period of time."

I smiled, "That's not nice Edward, besides, they're cute together. You're just jealous Emmett didn't pick you." I emphasized 'you' by

poking his chest.

"Riiiight. Anyway, I told him we'd talk it over and see about coming. Guess I'll let him know when he gets here."

Just as Edward finished his sentence Emmett bust through the doors with Rosalie following close behind talking to Alice.

Rosalie was nothing short of gorgeous. Long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, a figure some people pay thousands for, and an attitude that makes you think twice before calling her a chick.

It only made sense that she'd fallen for Emmett. He's a bear of a guy. He is scary as shit unless you know him. His smile, dimples, and sense of humor make you want to be around him though. He had light brown eyes and dark brown hair. He was quite pleasing to look at and even more so to be around.

"Hey Bell!"

"Hello Emmett. What it do boo?" I asked , giving him a wink as I did.

"Ruling the school, of course." he replied leaning back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head.

I laughed, "Good to hear."

Edward returned from the lunch line, opened and slid me my lemonade.

"Thanks." I said before taking a drink.

He winked at me and then turned his attention to Emmett, letting him know we'd be at the party on Friday.

"That's awesome man. That Charlotte chick said she'd see about checking it out too."

"Really? When did you talk to her?" Edward asked sitting up in his chair.

_Who the hell is Charlotte?_

"Right after you picked your jaw up off the floor but before you almost fell out of your chair." Emmett replied chuckling.

"Dude, I told you..."

"Who's Charlotte?" Alice asked cutting Edward off.

_Thank you Alice!_

In a movie, this is the scene where you'd hear the crickets.

Edward was looking at Emmett with a scowl; Emmett was looking at Edward with a look that said 'sucks to be you', and everyone else, was looking at me.

I was looking at Edward.

Alice broke the lengthy silence, "Hellooo?"

"Umm, she's just a new girl. She's in mine and Emmett's history class." Edward choked out.

"Yea, and Eddie wants to get with it." Emmett said with a small laugh.

I didn't really want the conversation to go much further. I didn't like these kind of conversations. Don't get me wrong, I'm used to girls getting Edward's attention, attention that he never showed me, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I always smiled and supported him because that's what a best friend does. When it would become too much, I'd distance myself from him for a day or two, cry like a girl, and then I'd be ready to slide back into my best friend role.

Edward has had two major girlfriends the entire time we've been friends and the relationships about killed me. For example, I had to go on a double date with Edward when he was dating Kate because her father was a pastor and didn't trust Edward. So, when he called me and asked if I'd do it, I agreed. No begging, no promises of a reward for my extreme friend act, I just agreed. Because I loved him. I wanted him happy, always.

Both Kate and Irina broke up with Edward. The reason they gave him, his 'unhealthy friendship with Bella'. When they asked him to choose, he did and after about seven months with both girls, they were gone and I wasn't. I took a lot from that, he had choosen me over a girlfriend. Things like that only enabled me.

I was still looking at Edward, but he refused to look toward me. So, I finished my lemonade and got up to leave.

"I've got to go talk to Ms. Cope about something, I'll catch ya guys later."

"Bella, that's not what it's about, Emmett doesn't know what he's talking about." Edward said standing up.

"And even if it was and Emmett did know what he was talking about, what would it be to me?" I can't believe I said that with a straight face.

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me then his gaze shifted to the lunch room door. His mouth gaped a little, there might have been drool.

Light brown hair, legs for miles, and I believe she has hazel eyes. I didn't need to ask, I just knew.

_Senior year, oh how I hate you already._

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_thanks so much to my beta FashionistaJR!! this chapter looked a lot different before she got her hands on it. xoxo!_

_thanks to kellyprovence for pre-reading for me. muah!_

_let me know what ya think, please!_

_you can follow me on Twitter if ya want...hayboo05_

_-rach_


	4. Chapter Three

_so...scene changes will be indicated by the solid line. _

_Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own this. _

_=)_

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At The Hip Chapter 3

I didn't stay at the lunch table after Charlotte found her way over. I'm still just assuming that was her, since I didn't stick around for introductions. Alice had followed me out into the hallway to ask if I was ok; I told her she was being silly. Of course I was alright. I don't know why I wasted the words; I didn't convince myself so I know I didn't convince her. I shrugged it off and told her I really did have to talk to Ms. Cope and made my way down the hall.

The first few days of a new girl in Edward's life was, to put it simply, my version of hell. It always went the same way: he'd assure me that it was just some harmless flirting and that nothing serious would come from it, I'd encourage him to go for it if that would make him happy. Then, within days, he'd call me with the whole gloriously tragic story of how he asked her out and how she nearly passed out before she could say yes.

It was a cycle I wish I could break.

The rest of the school day I spent class time trying to distract myself. I didn't want to think about how Edward was going to gush over this girl. I would have to smile and nod, make him get rid of any doubt he had. That's just what I did and I think he counted on it as much as I dreaded it.

When the final bell rang, I made my way outside to wait by the Volvo. My phone vibrated from the front pocket of my backpack.

_**1 new text from Alice.**_

I groaned.

_**Bella, I will be calling you after Edward leaves. Don't ignore it. I know where you live.**_

I couldn't help but smile. The pixie had balls.

"Why didn't you wait on me?" I looked up to see Edward walking slowly to the car.

"Oh, umm, I...why?" I asked, not coming up with a good answer.

"You always wait for me, unless you're mad about something," He said coming to lean against the car next to me.

I looked over at him, he had just the slightest bit of stubble starting to show. I sighed because he always looked the most handsome with a bit of scruff.

"I'm not mad about anything. Why would you think that? And the 'not meeting you inside' thing doesn't count," I said pointedly.

"You didn't finish out lunch and you're awfully quiet. Oh," he brought his finger up and softly put it to my bottom lip, "and there's the biting of the lip... you only do that when you're upset or nervous."

I blushed. _How long had he known that?_

"And you only blush when I'm right." he added, gently elbowing me in the side.

Yea, uh huh, only when he's right, or close, or looking at me, or when he says my name in that delicious morning voice he has when I wake him up on Saturday's.

"Bella?"

_Shit, what was the question again?_

"Umm, I'm not upset at you, Cullen. It's just this party Friday night; Alice wants to hook me up with one of Jasper's friends. I'm nervous, not upset." It wasn't a complete lie, I wasn't looking forward to meeting these friends.

Edward narrowed his eyes a bit and I could tell he was chewing on the inside of his cheek. That's what _he_ did when _he_ was upset or nervous. I'd keep that observation to myself.

"Hmm. Well, let's get goin'," he said abruptly, walking around quickly and settling in the car.

* * *

_Umm, ok. No offer to save me from said friends? Of course not, why would he? It's not like he wants me for himself._

The friendship between Edward and myself, was consistent and thoroughly predictable. We liked it that way. So little in our lives were as dependable as 'we' were. So, when Alice said she'd call after Edward left, she meant anytime after six. That was the curfew given to us by both set of parents- even if one of my parents were in another state. If it were up to Edward and I, we'd just spend the night where we were.

Today, my house was the one that welcomed us in. Edward always treated my home as his own and I did the same at his house. In the ways that mattered, we had two homes. We always would.

"What time is your dad off today?" Edward asked as we walked through the front door.

My dad, Charlie, was the Chief of Police in Forks so he never had a set schedule. Holidays, birthdays, any day of importance really, was always an 'if I don't have to work' occasion for my dad.

I could have been bitter about it, but really, it wasn't _that_ bad.

I knew he was there if I ever really needed him.

"Not until eight. Tommy sprained his ankle so he's off for a few days; Dad stepped into his shifts," I answered walking into the kitchen.

Edward and I always studied and ate in the kitchen for an hour, then we'd head upstairs to just hang out until he had to leave.

"Ya hungry?" I asked, pulling the cheese and butter out of the fridge.

"Dumb question, Swan."

I was just putting the first grilled cheese in the pan when Edward asked a question completely out of left field.

"Hey Bells, can I ask you something?" he came to stand beside me at the stove.

"Hmm?" I replied without looking up. Edward never asked permission to ask a question. So, I was kind of weary.

"Are you...well I mean...are you...are you a umm..."

"Edward, really?" he was taking too long and it was making me nervous.

"A virgin?" he said so fast that it took me a minute to realize what it was he asked.

_Ummmmm_

"Wh.. why?"

Edward was looking at his feet clenching and unclenching the counter.

"Well, I mean, no big reason. It's just we're best friends. I'm supposed to know that stuff," he said, finally looking at me.

"Ok," I said slowly. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't really want to offer up more information but he did make a valid point. I

knew he most definately was _not_ a virgin. Not that I had ever asked, Edward freely and eagerly shared that information.

"Ok? That's it? No when, where, or who?" he asked, turning completely to face me.

"Edward, I don't think...this is just...no." I fumbled with the words, I didn't want to talk about sex with Edward. I just knew it'd lead to some stupid day dream about _having_ sex with Edward. Not ok.

"So you're not a virgin?" he mumbled in a low voice.

"I don't recall confirming or denying anything. Why do you wanna know this, Cullen? The real reason."

It took him exactly one minute and four seconds to answer.

"I just want to know. I don't know. Curiosity and all that. It's cool though if you don't want to talk about it." he sighed, "I'm sorry if I made ya mad."

_Damn you, 'i'm sorry' face_.

"You just caught me off guard, that's all." I took a deep breath and just said it, "No, I'm not a virgin."

I went back to watching the grilled cheese. It didn't talk or ask invasive questions about topics I didn't wanna discuss but then, Cullen was my best friend... if he couldn't ask those questions then who could?

"Who was it?"

My head snapped to Edward.

"You wanna know who?"

"Someone I know?" he asked narrowing his eyes.

_What the hell? Why was he looking at me like that?_

"No, you don't know him. It didn't even happen in Washington. What the hell is your problem?" I wasn't censoring this if he wasn't.

His eyes softened just a bit but they still looked angry. He couldn't possibly think I'd stay a virgin forever, right?

He sighed, "It was that James guy?"

"Yea, it was James."

I knew James, in total, for sixteen days and I have yet to figure out why I decided it was a good idea to lose the big v to him. I mean, sure, he was good looking, funny, easy to talk to, but I had only known him just over two weeks! Actually, when we had sex, I had only known him five days. I just wanted to do it and he was there. Not responsible or logical of him at all but neither was I at that point.

I met James while I visited my mom in Pheonix last summer. He lived two houses down from her. Mom seemed to like him alright so she didn't care that we hung out or anything. I went over to watch a movie one night, his dad worked nights and his mom wasn't in the picture, one thing led to another and boom, Bella Swan no longer carried the V card.

I wouldn't say I regretted it, per se, because really, what would be the point? I couldn't undo it or change how it happened; I suppose I just wish I still had the option of doing it.

Hey, I'm a seventeen year old girl, I have raging hormones. I can want sex. Often.

"So was it just the one time?"

Right, I wasn't alone.

"Umm, is it ever?", when had he only had sex once? Oh, that's right, never.

Edward smirked my favorite smirk and nodded, "Ya have a point I guess. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I just didn't see it as breaking news. It didn't really mean anything other than what it was and when was I suppose to bring it up, before or after dinner with our families?" Truthfully, I was just scared of what he'd think.

"Still, you should have told me," he said, then made his way to the kitchen table.

"Yeah...well...I didn't so moving on." I was over the conversation. I didn't know why he brought it up in the first place.

After 'the sex talk' there was a lot of silence or one word answers and I couldn't understand why, Edward and I rarely had trouble filling time.

At 5:15, I decided study time was over. It's not like I was getting much done anyway.

I stood without saying anything, knowing he would follow when he was ready.

When I got to my room, I put my book bag in the corner next to my Grammy's rocking chair. I sighed and started looking at all the pictures that my cork board held. I loved these pictures. Faces of people that I loved and who loved me in return. That's what I loved about pictures, they were almost always good memories. I mean, who took pictures of bad things? My favorite picture of all time, was in a frame by my bed. When I had first put it there a couple years ago, I was embarrassed. Then, Edward saw it for the first time. He didn't react the way I had guessed he would. He really liked it. I wasn't embarrassed after that.

It was in a simple but delicate frame. A gift from Mom. It was beautiful, really. In the bottom right corner, the letters "_B & E_" were carved in elegant script with a small infinity symbol right below them.

The picture was taken two summers ago, Edward and I were fifteen. I went with the Cullens on vacation to Myrtle Beach and it was so much fun. We spent every day at the beach and by some miracle, I didn't burn. We had been walking the length of the beach one day looking for...well, I don't even remember what we were looking for...but the options were limited, right? Anyway, Esme, Edward's mom, had been picture happy all day and as she put it '_captured a beautiful moment'._

She didn't give me the picture until my sixteenth birthday but I've loved it ever since.

Edward and I. Walking on the beach. His little finger hooked with mine. Him laughing and me smiling at him.

Mom said the infinity symbol means 'never ending'.

That's why I put _that_ picture in _that_ frame.

B & E are never ending.

* * *

Edward eventually made his way upstairs and everything was normal again. We talked and joked around easily, as if the virgin thing was never brought up. I was so glad.

We didn't do awkward well.

It was 6:02, Edward had just climbed in his car, when Alice's name lit up my cell phone. I sighed but picked it up and hit answer.

"You weren't kiddin huh?" I asked walking back up the stairs.

"You know me well enough to answer that question for yourself." I could hear her smile through the phone.

I laughed, "So, what's up tink?"

"I don't think you should let Edward date Charolette. I mean, I know you're gonna say it's none of your business but Bella, c'mon, he won't date her if you say you'd rather him not. I just have this bad feeling that this one is gonna be different, and not in a good way."

Not one time did she stop to breathe. How the hell does she do that?!

"Ali, it _really_ isn't any of my business," Alice groaned but I continued, "Yes, he's my best friend but that doesn't mean I get to tell him who to see. That's not fair."

"I know. I just don't want you hurt, and if he dates her, you will be, Bella." The sadness in her voice was unnerving.

"Look, I haven't even met the girl so let me do that and we'll talk about it further, ok? Edward isn't going to hurt me over a girlfriend. We're not that easily broken."

Alice sighed,"I hope you're right. Anyway, I'll let ya go. I'll talk to you tomorrow, B. Love you!"

"I love you too Ali. Night." I ended the call and laid back on my bed.

I knew what I was talking about. Edward loved me. I was his best friend. We couldn't be any closer and still be _just _friends.

I turned my head to the right and looked at our picture.

I did tonight, what I did every night.

"Dear God, keep him safe, keep him happy, but let me keep him."

I reached out and touched the infinity symbol on the frame, "Amen."

* * *

_So thanks for reading!_

_First...thank you to my beta FashionistaJR & my pre-reader kellyprovence. you two rock. hard. muah!_

_Please let me know what ya think!_

_& if ya wanna, follow me on Twitter...hayboo05!_

_-rach._


	5. Chapter Four

First of all ...thanks so much to **everyone** who has read/reviewed/and put this story on an alert of some kind!

& i'm so glad y'all are enjoyin it!

My beta **FashionistaJR** is amazing. My pre-reader **kellyprovence** is awesome. Without these two wonderful ladies, this story would cease to exist!

A **HUGE** thanks to **Bbebar**. The woman is a PiMP & for that...i love her. Well...actually there are tons of reasons why I love her...but that's a story in itself. Oh! && my Edward has been deemed **BFFWard** thanks to Bbebar! muah bb!

_**Disclaimer**: SM owns Twilight. I own BFFWard & BFFella._

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On Wednesday, I met Charlotte.

Meeting her did two things: made me not like her even more, and made me want to pull her over processed hair out strand by strand.

I have to say that I tried to go into it objectively but I failed. I told myself that she was probably a really nice girl who would be great for Edward. _Haha!_

She was really a lot of things; pretty, annoying, fake, and she called Edward... Eddie.

The day started out fine. Normal.

I was the first one to the lunch table so I popped my ear buds in and switched on my iPod. I loved music. It relaxed me. I tried every genre at least once and I had been pleasantly surprised a few times. Although bluegrass and I just weren't meant to be.

I had the 'Summer '07' playlist goin' and Justin Timberlake was tellin' me all about _"Summer Love" _when I noticed someone had sat down next to me. It wasn't Alice, Emmett, or Rose. Nope.

Charlotte.

"Hi Bella! I'm Charlotte, Edward's girlfriend." She extended her hand to me after her introduction.

_Edward's what? Since when?_

"Oh, umm, hi. I'm actually a germa-phobe so..." I trailed off looking at the hand that was still extended. I didn't wanna touch her and making nice was not my job.

She pulled her hand back slowly, "Oh...I'm sorry."

"It's cool," I replied, looking around to see if anyone was within 'save Bella' distance.

No one.

"Well anyway," she started, "I thought we should officially meet. Since we'll probably be spending lots of time together now."

Like hell we will.

I gave her a tight lipped smile. It was all I could muster. I mean, I didn't want to get to know her. Nice or not, she would be the bain of my existence until the fascination Edward had with her was gone.

Charlotte did the look around too but instead of looking bummed about no one we knew being close, she simply smiled back at me and leaned in a little too close for me, "Look Bella, I understand that you and Eddie have this amazing friendship that has withstood the ages and junior high but you're seniors; You'll be moving away after graduation. You two can't stay close forever. Maybe me taking your place in his life will be beneficial for the both of you."

I was gaping. I was sure of it. Was she on drugs? What gave her the right to make any assumptions about Edward and I? She'd known him for three days and me for like, all of two minutes. She would take my place over my dead body.

Gloves off.

"Well, Charlotte, I understand that you've known me for almost seven whole minutes so you definitely have the needed knowledge to make such assumptions, but you have it all wrong. See, Cullen and I have not only made it through junior high and high school, but also two serious girlfriends. When they asked him to choose, he chose me. So maybe it's not me who should be getting used to being separated from him."

It was Charlotte's turn to gape. _Damn straight!_

She cleared her throat and looked down at her manicured nails before replying, "I can see we both have very different ideas as to what's best for Eddie but don't worry Bella, I'll make sure in the end, he sees it my way. It's the only way we'll all be happy. And well...I always get what I want, and I want Edward." She looked at me then, smiling this smile that would have looked better smacked off of her face.

"I think Cullen is capable of deciding what's best for himself. He's a big boy,"I said, gathering up my stuff. I was done with girl talk.

"Oh, I plan to find out if that is in fact true. Big or not though Bella, he'll be mine by the end of the week."

That was it, I just wanted to hit her once. Mess up that pretty and stupid face of hers. How could she talk to me like this? I'm practically a stranger.

"Ya know what else you're gonna have by the end of the week? A medical record in Forks." Moving closer to her I continued, "How dare you..."

"Bella! There you are."

I turned my head to see Alice standing next to me with a slight smirk on her face.

"I think we should go find something to eat. My blood sugar and all that," she said, hooking her arm with mine.

I smirked, Alice doesn't have blood sugar problems...

"I thought you said you were a germa-phobe," Charlotte asked, straightening out her shirt and looking at Alice and I's arms.

My lips curled up into a tight smile, quite obviously the most fake smile I had ever plastered; I sat back down next to her and leaned in close like she had done to me, "Oh right, well, I lied. I just don't like you."

Her eyes went wide for just a second before she narrowed them.

"Have a great day, Char."

Standing up, I grabbed my iPod and books off the table and let Alice

lead me away.

..(ATH)..

"Umm, what went down back there?" Alice asked once there was some distance between us and the wicked witch.

"I almost punched her in the face Ali," I answered with a small smile.

"And why did you almost resort to physical violence?" she asked with a giggle.

I told Alice the reason why; about what Charlotte said to me. It made me angrier re-telling the story. I needed to tell Edward, right? He needed to know what kind of girl she was.

"That bitch. Who died and made her queen?" Alice asked after I

finished the recap.

"Apparently Cullen did when he asked her out," I mumbled. I really didn't want to think about that. Why did he not tell me? I'm his best friend!

"Oh my God. Why didn't you stop him Bella?" Alice asked, in her whiny 'I told you to do something but you didn't' voice.

I sighed and was about to answer when I saw Edward walking toward us.

He looked pissed.

"Hey Edwa-"

"I need to talk to you. Now," Edward said in a low but obviously angry voice, cutting Alice off.

"Uhh, yea, ok. I'll catch up with you later Ali."

Alice just nodded and walked off. She knew how mine and Cullen's arguments could be. They normally weren't pleasant.

I waited for him to start, to say something and when he didn't, I looked down at our shoes.

I hated the shoes he had on, they had this red trim that looked out of place. I had told him this at least five times since he bought them. His feet made my size sevens seem so small. All of me felt very small right now.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke.

"What the hell happened between you and Charlotte?"

He was mad. Very mad...at me?

I took a deep breath trying to figure out how to go about saying all this without sounding like a whiny little girl.

"Edward, I don't think Charlotte and I are going to get along," I said, looking back down at our shoes.

"Bella, why would you tell her you don't like her when you don't even know her?" he asked after I had looked back up at him.

"She doesn't know us either Cullen, and she shouldn't have said any of the stuff she said to me. I wasn't going to let her make what we have seem like nothing." Talking about this and having to defend myself was not making the angry feeling go away.

"Why didn't you tell me you were with her?" I asked when he didn't say anything.

His reply was almost instant and it seemed rehearsed, "I didn't know I had to clear things in my personal life with you first, Bella."

I wanted to be angry with him right along with Charlotte but the only emotion I could feel was hurt. I thought I was a part of his personal life. I had never felt like I was on the outside but after that comment, that is exactly how I felt.

I cleared my throat, pushing the emotion down, "You don't have to Cullen... but you used to want to."

He didn't say anything, just stared at me. When the warning bell for 5th period rang, I sighed, "I'll see ya after school."

I didn't wait for a response. I just turned and walked away.

..(ATH)..

"I don't think we should study today," I said quietly, opening the door to Edward's Volvo when he pulled into my drive way.

"Yea, I have plans anyway." His reply was clipped but I didn't care. If he had a right to be mad, then so did I.

"When were you going to tell me this? And before you go on about not needing to clear things in your personal life with me, I'm involved in this particular event so that's why I feel the need to ask. Not to mention," I seethed, "What about you asking me about my virginity? I'm not suppose to want to know when you get a new girlfriend but you ask me the first time I ever had sex?"

I was beyond mad at that point. Edward and I were always close. He was the one who wanted to tell me things. We both had things we kept private, like when I lost my V card, but getting a girlfriend wasn't something to be kept private. Was there a reason he didn't tell me about her? Or did he just have a stick up somewhere?

"That's different," he muttered. That just threw me for the last spin.

"How is that different?" I spat. "Different, how? The difference being in one case you take a girl out on a date and in another you get naked and do some things that will forever change your V card? You're right, Cullen, it is different!" I narrowed my eyes at him, fighting the urge to not say more. He was lucky that I didn't.

I wasn't going to just lay down and take it from him. I've never been that way. That's not how we worked.

"Well, I was under the impression you weren't talking to me. I just assumed you wouldn't want to hang out anyway," he replied, his eyes never leaving the the steering wheel.

"Tell Charlotte I said hi," I said sarcastically before getting out of the car, slamming the door, and walking on the porch.

I knew he'd wait until I was in the house before he left so I took my time. Once I had the door unlocked and open, I heard tires squeal and as I turned around I saw a cloud of dust in the place of his Volvo.

I may have stuck my tongue out in his general direction.

I walked in the house, set my bag down and was about to go upstairs when I saw a post it with my name on it.

_Bells-_

_Mom called. She'll be here 4 ur bday nxt wknd. 1 night w Ed. The others r Moms. Her rules._

_Love ya _

_Dad_-

I sighed. I was excited to see Mom again so soon after visiting her two months earlier, I really was, but she was too perceptive for her own good sometimes. She could read between the lines like no one else I knew. I was hoping Edward and I would be all fixed up by the time she got here though. It would make my life so much easier.

I hadn't even thought of my birthday being so soon. I didn't really care much for birthdays. As a child they were cool and I always got what I wanted but as I got older, I realized that celebrating that fact wasn't always a fun thing.

I made a mental note to call Mom before bed and made my way upstairs. I needed my PJs and my iPod. I changed out of my jeans, t-shirt, and flats into light pink capri PJ pants and a white v-neck. I was almost positive the shirt was Edward's. I drew it up over my head and replaced it with a black tank top I knew was mine. Childish, yes, but no one knew but me.

I powered on my iPod, placed it in the iHome on my night stand, and turned on my "I'm pissed" playlist.

I wasn't pissed as much as I was annoyed and hurt but I didn't have those playlists set up yet.

I plopped down on my bed, looked up at the ceiling, and just listened to the music for a minute.

"_There was a time when I was so broken hearted..."_

Uhh why is _"Cryin"_ on this playlist?

I sat up and changed the song.

"_A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly and is also known as a busta.."_

Oh my God.

Don't get me wrong, I love TLC just as much as the next person but this is not on my "I'm pissed" playlist.

I decided to check into it later but changed to the Play All option.

_You by the light _

_Is the greatest find _

_In a world _

_Full of wrong _

_You're the thing that's right _

_Finally made it _

_Through the lonely _

_To the other side _

_You set it again _

_My hearts in motion _

_Every word feels _

_Like a shooting star _

_I'm at the edge of my emotions _

_Watching the shadows _

_Burning in the dark _

_And I'm in love _

_And I'm terrified _

_For the first time _

_And the last time _

_In my only life _

_This could be good _

_It's already better than that _

_And nothing's worse _

_Than knowing you're holding back _

_I could be all that you need _

_If you let me try _

"Please let me try," I whispered to myself.

No one else would want to hear it.

* * *

**Chapter Five** is already being written so hopefully an update will happen by the weekend!

_...It will include a party..a very good-looking guy..& a smitten BFFella. *sigh*..._

Thanks so much for reading & reviewing would make me estatic! haha.

If ya wanna...i'm on Twitter: **hayboo05**!

_-rach._


	6. Chapter Five

So...thank you so much to **everyone** who reviewed! It's mean so much. xoxo.

Great big thank you to my beta, **FashionistaJR**, nothin but love for ya!

My pre-reader, **kellyprovence**, is amazing. muah!

**Bbebar**, i love you.

_The song in this chapter is "Give It To Me Right" by Melanie Fiona._

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight & it's characters. I own BFFWard & his BFFElla. **

**

* * *

**

"Did you see my post it?" Dad asked sounding very bored.

"Uhh yea, she know her flight times yet?" I asked applying the second coat of bright red nail polish to my baby toe.

Dad had called to tell me he wasn't going to be home for dinner tonight because of a break in on the other side of town and to make sure I knew Mom was coming. Oh and he told me where his gun was and went through a "guns for dummies" kind of tutorial with me. He lost me after, "Now, in the closet you'll see my gun..."

"She said she'd call early next week with all of her flight information. You'll probably have to go pick her up."

I sighed and twisted the cap back on the polish, "Great, so that means the whole ride home, I'll get to hear about how much she still hates my truck."

Dad let a little laugh escape before clearing his throat... _traitor._ "Shouldn't matter much Bells, you're gettin' rid of the thing in a few months anyway."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me.

"Yea, I know dad, but that's not the point. Does she have to harp on it every time she comes to visit?"

"Cause she's not like us Bella, she likes nice things and there's nothing wrong with that."

Dad was right. Mom came from a totally different world. She needed all the nice things. I liked nice things and had a lot of them thanks to Mom, the Cullens and even I bought myself nice things every once in a while but I was fine with an old beat up truck and a pair of Adidas' I'd had for two years. I bet there wasn't a shoe in my Mom's closet that was older than six months.

"I'm not saying there is Daddy. Anyway, I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Alright. I'll call ya before I head that way so ya know to expect me. Unless it gets too late."

I smiled. I loved my Dad.

"Be careful please."

"Always am, Bells. Night."

I hung up. Looked around for my cell phone, and remembered that I left it in my bag downstairs. I needed to ask Alice what was up with this party I didn't want to go to on Friday.

When I got downstairs and found my phone, it showed I had two missed calls one from Dad the other from Edward. A voicemail, from Dad, and four text messages, two being from Edward and the other two were from Alice. _Geez!_ I read Edward's text messages first.

**I'm sorry. I'll stop by before 8.**

**Clln-**

and

**Are you not talking to me?**

**Clln-**

I replied after reading the texts a second time.

**Anytime's fine. Dad's working late. See you soon.**

**-Swan**

I was hoping we could both apologize for how we were to each other. I wasn't going to apologize for the whole Charlotte thing though. If I was in the wrong, then she was too and I just had this small feeling that there was no way in hell she was going to say she was sorry for a thing she said.

During my musings, I looked to see what Ali sent me. She wanted to know how it went with Edward, in the first one. The second one had me slightly intrigued and nervously biting my lip.

**I hve a guy 4 u B!**

I debated for a minute as to whether or not to text back. I was use to Alice trying to play match maker but most of time, she sucked at it. I decided to go ahead and humor her.

**Rlly? Do tell.**

My phone lit up almost immediately after sending the message.

**Npe. Hve to wait & see. Will tell ya this tho. Sexaaaay. ;)**

I rolled my eyes. Most college guys, by default, were sexy. Also, Jasper was a good looking guy...in my experience, they hung out in groups.

I was about to reply when I heard a car door shut. I looked at the time on my phone. 8:07pm.

Edward.

Before I could make it to the door to let him in, he stepped through it.

"Swan?"

I was just rounding the corner, "Yea, right here."

He smiled slightly before shutting the door behind him. "How many times have your Dad and I told you to lock this damn thing?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Enough times that I should know to do it."

He nodded his head and his slight smile grew. "What'cha doin?"

"Being awkward with you," Now it was my turn to smile. It was involuntary really...Most smiles Edward evoked were.

I licked my lips and watched as his eyes followed the movement, when he looked back up, he smiled shyly. If asked I would probably have said his shy smile was my favorite but, honestly, I loved every smile Edward Cullen had ever smiled.

He walked past me into the living room and sat down on the couch. After following him and him patting the seat next to his, I sat down and brought my legs up to my chest.

"Look Swan," he started, turning his body to face mine, "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have acted that way...it's just...well...I mean I really like her and when she told me that the whole talking thing didn't go so well, I panicked."

I was confused.

"Why would that make you panic?" I asked, resting my chin on my knees.

"I want you to like her. Your opinion means so much to me and I can't see my life being very easy if you and her don't get along."

I shook my head. I mean I'm glad my opinion mattered so much to him but the truth of it was, I wasn't going to like Charlotte. Ever.

"We are never going to get along. We are just two very different types of people Edward. If you're happy then I'm happy for you but I'm not gonna pretend to be friends with someone who wants to take my place in your life." I hoped the finality was evident in the words I spoke.

Edward looked at me with confusion, "She would never want to take your place Bella."

"Really? " I started, "I'm pretty sure those are exactly the words she used earlier today. She said a lot of things actually but those particular words are the ones that I can't seem to forget."

He rubbed his hands on his thighs for a few seconds before taking my hand and hooking our pinky fingers together, "No one will ever be who you are to me Bella."

I saw the sincerity in his eyes as he spoke but another emotion flashed briefly, confusion, maybe, I couldn't be sure. Did he know what I wanted to be to him? I wanted to just tell him, get it over with, but I was too afraid of messing us up. I'd never forgive myself. I felt the stinging that came with tears wanting to shed but I blinked them back. Why was I so emotional all of a sudden? PMS?

I looked down at our pinkys. He meant what he said or he wouldn't have linked us when he said it. When I looked back at him, he was looking at our hands too.

"She shouldn't have been so mean about it all Edward I won't be her friend but I'm not going to cause any drama either."

He nodded and looked back to me, "I'll talk to her."

There was silence for who knows how long, then Edward retracted his hand unhooking his finger from mine.

"I should probably go. It's way past our curfew. I just wanted to make sure we're OK. We are OK, right Bella?" He asked with some hesitation.

I sighed but nodded, "Yea, Cullen, we're OK. Just don't be such a jerk next time."

He laughed and stood up. I followed him to the door and walked him to the edge of the porch.

"I'll drive myself to school tomorrow," I said quietly when he stepped off the last step and onto the ground.

"Why?"

"I have to do something after school and I don't want you to have to run me around."

"So no studying again tomorrow?" He asked stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"I'll only be half an hour at most. Come by at 4:30. I'll have Charlie extend curfew to 6:30," I replied, crossing my arms.

"Yea, ok. I'll see ya tomorrow at school then."

"Yup. Night Cullen. Drive safe."

He saluted me then turned around and started walking to his car. Before disappearing into the driver's seat he looked back at me.

"Love ya, Swan."

He was already turning off of my street before I could reply.

"I love you too, Edward."

..(ATH)..

The next two days went without incident. Charlotte stayed away from me, with the occasional glare when no one but me was looking, and Edward didn't talk about her. Edward and I still studied after school. I was as happy as I could be, considering the circumstances.

Mom had called on Thursday night. She asked how my week had been and how Edward was. I swear that woman loved him even more than I did. Was that possible?

When I told her about Charlotte, she went straight into "defend my daughter's honor" mode.

"Well, I'm sure you're much prettier Bella. Besides, you have a connection with Edward that no other girl will ever have."

"I know Mom. That doesn't mean she isn't trying to mess that up though. She was evil on Wednesday," I explained.

"Hmm. Well, I wouldn't worry too much about it sweetie. Edward isn't going to let that happen."

I nodded even though she couldn't see me. It wasn't that I was afraid of Edward blatantly letting Charlotte ruin things, I was afraid of her doing it under the radar. I wasn't blinded by "love" but Edward definitely seemed to be on that road.

Friday was all about the Hale party. At school Alice was going on non-stop about what to wear, when to arrive, and if I thought Jasper would notice her. Oh, and she never let me forget the "hottie" that would be there.

I would just listen until it was time for some kind of acknowledgment and then I'd just nod or hmm in agreement. I wasn't looking forward to this party. Could ya tell?

"You're not looking forward to tonight, are you?"

I blinked. That was kind of creepy.

"It's not that Ali," I started but when she rolled her eyes, I fessed up, "I just don't think I'll have much fun. You'll be off romancing Jasper. Rose will be all up on Emmett's junk and Edward...well I'm not even gonna think of what he'll be doing," I said with a sigh.

We had decided to get ready at my house since it was just ten minutes away from the Hale's. Dad was working until late so we had the house to ourselves. Another plus.

I walked over and turned on my iPod.

"Something fun, Debbie Downer," Alice said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes but went through and selected something.

When the introduction to "Give It To Me Right" started playing, Alice screamed, "I love this song!"

I laughed and went to my closet. The beat was impossible not to dance to. It made you feel invincible...or maybe we were just high on life, I don't know.

_Okay okay he's got my number and _

_You can't, you can't warn me baby here I am _

_Either you make the time or just forget me _

_I'm not, I'm not tryin run your life _

_That's why, that's why I'm nobody's wife _

_But when I want, when I want it _

_You gotta be ready _

_I don't want it all the time, _

_But when I get it, I better be satisfied _

_So give it to me right_

_Or don't give it to me at all_

"Ya know Bella, you should totally live with this as your anthem," Alice said sitting down on my bed.

"Why's that?" I asked as I pulled my favorite pair of skinny jeans out of my closet.

"Cause, you need a man who'll give ya want you want but only when ya want it. You've pined away for far too long Swaaaan" She drug out Swan to make a point.

I turned around and flipped her off. "Ali, I told you not..."

"I know, I know. Don't mention it again. But geez Bella, Edward is blind as Hell. You need to make out with someone or gasp..even find a boyfriend." She put her hand over her mouth in mock horror.

I drew my shirt over my head and slung it on my bed, replacing it with a deep purple top that fell off one shoulder. "Hand me that belt, Ali. And as far as me and men, I will do it at my own pace. Thank you."

"If you were going any slower, Bella, you'd be a virgin again."

I couldn't help it. I laughed.

"I hate you, Alice."

"Yea, yea. I've heard it all before. Are you wearing heels or boots?" She asked, handing me the belt I asked for.

"I don't know. Maybe those new brown ankle boots Mom sent me?" I asked, surveying my growing pile of shoes. _Thank you, Mom._

Alice nodded frantically, "Oh yea! They're peep toe right? Definitely wear those."

"Are you wearing those flats?" I asked zipping up my left boot, nodding to the black Gladiator sandals.

Alice looked at me like I was nuts.

"Guess not." I muttered.

Alice had on black capri's, a white tank top that gave her awesome cleavage, with a red belt to define her petite figure. Flats would have worked.

"I'm wearing those fuck me pumps I bought over the summer."

I laughed. "You wish Ali. You wish."

_I don't think you understand _

_How real it is for me to find a man who thinks he can _

_So give it to me right or don't give it to me at all _

_Yeah yeaaah _

_On time, on time I expect you to be _

_Oh my, oh my baby in my fantasy _

_If you can't get it right _

_Then just forget it_

..(ATH)..

When Alice and I walked into the Hale residence, it was obvious the party was in full swing. There were people everywhere and as I glanced at the faces, I realized I didn't know half of them. I looked over to Alice and she shrugged. Guess she didn't know them either.

I let out a small scream when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist.

"Hey B," a soft voice, that could only belong to Jasper, whispered in my ear.

I turned with a huge smile on my face.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around his neck and squeezing as he lifted me off of the ground.

"Glad you two could make it," he half shouted. It was really loud in there!

He set me back on the ground and stepped back ushering in three guys.

It was like one of the cheesy scenes in a movie. The whole room got quiet and my vision was focused on nothing but this amazing guy in front of me.

"Bella, Alice I'd like ya to meet some of my college buddies. Kevin, Marcus, and Travis."

I heard what he said but to me, it went more like this; Blah Blah, Marcus, Blah Blah.

Marcus. Well, he was tall, dark, and handsome. He had black hair and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. He was the same height as Jasper which meant he was at least 6'2". He had the softest looking lips. Wait. A. Minute. _Waitafuckinminute._ Why was I doing this? I wanted Edward. Right? Edward was my best friend, I loved him, I hadn't been this attracted to a guy who wasn't Edward in ...well... never. Though, Edward never looked at me like..._that._

I felt an elbow in my ribs and that seemed to knock me out of my boy induced coma. I turned my head to look at Alice. She had a grin the size of this house on her face.

"Uhh...hi. Nice to meet you," I said so quietly I wasn't sure they even heard me.

Marcus took a step forward and leaned down close to my ear.

"It's nice to meet you too...Bella."

Yup. He heard me.

"Swan?"

I jerked my head to the left. Edward was standing in the door way looking...mad? Irritated? _What the hell did I do now?_

"When did you get here?" he half yelled.

"Like five minutes ago. What's wrong?" I asked taking in his scowl.

His eyes shifted just a little until they landed on Marcus.

"Who's he?" Edward asked motioning with his head.

"Umm, a friend of Jasper's. Marcus. I just met him actually," I explained, shrugging.

Marcus stepped forward and extended his hand to Edward. Edward just looked at it. I didn't understand why he was being so rude. I sighed, though I'm sure not one heard it, and went to apologize for Cullen's behavior when he finally spoke, "You should probably find someone your own age, man."

I stood there with my mouth wide open, looking attractive I'm sure.

"Cullen, really?"

"Actually," Marcus started, "I just turned nineteen, so I'm really not that much older than her." He paused for a moment then continued, "You her boyfriend?"

I couldn't stop the snort that escaped me. _Covering all the nerd bases tonight aren't ya Swan?_ For anyone to think or even ask if Edward was my boyfriend was hilarious.

"No, she's totally available, aren't ya Bella?" Alice broke in. _Oh right...she was here too._

If looks could kill, Alice would be six feet under. The look Edward gave her was murderous.

"Bella, I need to talk to you...alone," Edward said through clenched teeth.

"Eddie! There you are. I've been looking...Oh."

I rolled my eyes, sure Charlotte, join the party.

"Bella."

"Charlotte."

"And I'm Alice...so let's go dance B!" Alice prompted as she took my hand and led me further into the chaos.

I had no idea what just went on back there. Edward had never been so openly rude to anyone before. His mom would have killed him! I didn't even get to talk to hot guy Marcus. I might have frowned.

"I'll take ya back in a little bit Bella, geez. I just thought I'd get ya out of the lime light."

Hmm...I must have been thinking out loud.

"Oh my God Bella! Did you see Edward's face? Not what I had in mind but it was awesome." I looked at Alice with confusion written on my face. She was smiling so widely, I was sure her face was about to split.

"What the hell are you talking about? Edward was awful...what is so awesome about that?" I asked crossing my arms.

Alice rolled her eyes, "He was jealous B."

Before I could respond to the absurdity of that statement, I felt hand on my upper arm. When the hand spun me around, I came face to face with a not so happy Edward.

"What the hell Bella? I leave you alone for one night and you're being mauled by some college guy who can't get someone his own age?"

"Excuse me? He was saying hi. I'd hardly consider that mauling me," I said defensively.

"Whatever, you need to just stay away from him and stick close to me."

"You already have a puppy to follow you around Cullen and it's sure as hell not me," I spat before turning around and storming off.

How dare he? Knight in shining armor was not a costume I needed _any_ guy to wear for me. I mean, he can't do this..can he? Be protective but don't be an ass. Edward was being an ass! I wanted to tell him so. Sure, he had always been protective of me but why did he have to be so rude and...territorial on me? I wanted him to know how much of a moron he was being so I turned around to go back and ran right into a beautifully hard chest.

"Let's try this again," the chest started, "I'm Marcus."

I looked up, saw he was smiling, and smiled back. _Gorgeous._

"Hello, Marcus. I'm Bella."

..(ATH)..

"So he's not your boyfriend then?" Marcus asked as we sat on the swing that occupied the back porch of the Hale house.

"Not even a little bit," I stated dryly.

"You want him to be." It wasn't a question, he was stating a fact.

I sighed, "He's my best friend and I care about him...but that's all he's ever meant to be."

"Can I tell you something without it seeming too forward?" he asked, clasping his hands together.

I nodded.

"The guy is crazy for not seeing you for what you are," he whispered.

I didn't understand it. How could this guy I've known for just over an hour already get what Edward has been missing for nearly eleven years? It wasn't fair, damn it.

"What am I?"

"A girl who loves with her heart...not her head."

He took my hand in his. My breathing picked up just a bit. _Please don't let my hand sweat, please!_

"Bella, I'd like to take you out next weekend. I'm coming home with Jasper again..." he trailed off, gauging my reaction.

I wanted to say no. I shouldn't have wanted to be with anyone else.

I said yes...with a huge smile on my face. I was attracted to him and he seemed to feel the same way.

Unrequited love was exhausting.

I needed some rest.

* * *

I forgot to list the name of the song in the last chapter. _It was "Terrified" by Kara DioGuardi._

If you will, let me know what ya think!

&& if ya wanna, I'm on Twitter...**hayboo05**!

Thanks so much!

-rach.


	7. Chapter Six

If you've reviewed or put this story on alert...Thank you sooo much!

My Beta: **FashionistaJR**...awesome girl.

My Pre-reader: **KellyProvence**...aaaamazing.

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&& a special thanks to **tg10781**...she rec'd _At The Hip_ on her Story _An Angel Closes Her Eyes_. You should def be reading it..if you aren't!

**Disclaimer**: I own this. SM owns Twilight and it's characters. k?

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"Bella, you have to go!"

I rolled my eyes. Alice was so dramatic.

"I want to Ali, but my mom is coming in this weekend for my birthday. She'll only be here until Monday morning. I can't pick a guy over my mom," I said, sounding a bit disappointed.

In my haste to accept the invitation to hang out with Marcus, I totally forgot that Mom would be arriving on Friday. I wasn't about to pass up the only time I'd see her- before Christmas- for a guy; No matter how incredibly good looking he was. Mom lived in Phoenix and had been living there since I was nine. When her and my dad divorced they decided to let me stay in Forks so as not to completely turn my world upside down. Ya know, because not having a mother for most of the year, is completely settling. Yea, I'm sarcastic...it's part of my charm.

"Well, maybe if you tell your mom what's goin on... Bella, he's coming all the way back here this weekend, for you!" Alice pointed out, for the fifth time in about as many minutes.

I shook my head, "He was coming back with Jasper regardless of what my answer was and if I call him and tell him it can't be this weekend then he has that option to not come if he doesn't want to. It's Monday Ali, I have plenty of time to let him know either way."

She sighed and sat down on my bed, "So does that mean you won't be seeing Edward this weekend either?"

"Umm, well, Mom wants to see him...so we'll probably go out to dinner one night. I have to see when he's free," I stated, picking up my cell phone. _No time like the present._

"He seemed a bit cranky today at school," Alice said, with a hint of amusement.

I gave her my 'not this again' face and typed out a text to Edward.

**Mom's comin in this wknd. Dinner one night?**

**-Swan**

I placed my phone back on my night stand, turning toward Alice, "Alice, how many times do I have to tell you, Edward was not jealous. He thought Marcus was too old for me or whatever," I finished, with a slight shrug.

"I just don't know why you won't let yourself see it; He was jealous and that means something," Alice replied, sounding slightly exasperated.

I didn't see it that way at all. After talking with Marcus, on the swing for almost two hours Friday night, we made our way back into the house. I was looking for Edward or Ali and he was searching for Jasper. We turned the corner heading toward the kitchen, and there he was. Pressed up against the wall with Charlotte's tongue somewhere in the depths of his throat. I may have thrown up in my mouth a little bit. I glanced at Marcus and he gave me a half smile before turning us toward the living room.

I was suddenly sick to my stomach and it couldn't have been alcohol induced, because I hadn't had a sip of anything. _Yea, Alice, he was so jealous. _I have no idea what would make her think something so entirely mental. Sure, I kind of wanted it to be true-okay I _really_ wanted it to be true- but every time I even started to let myself think it was, Edward made it more than clear that he definitely wasn't jealous.

"They're ones for modesty, huh?" Marcus asked.

I gave a slight chuckle, which held no humor at all, and took a deep breath, "He never used to like PDA, lucky for us, he got over that particular pet peeve."

I heard Marcus laugh lightly, "Yea, lucky us."

After we found Jasper dirty dancing with Alice, I tried to not think about Edward at all. I talked and danced with Marcus and surprisingly didn't fall or make a fool of myself. Before Alice and I left, I received a kiss on my cheek from Mr. Scott. (I figured asking Marcus his last name was an appropriate question to ask..since I was going out with him next weekend.)

I could have very well been floating on the way home.

My cell phone beeping, indicating I had a text, brought me back to my room.

**Actually goin out of town this wknd. Rainchk?**

**-Clln.**

What part of my mom, who lives in Phoenix, did he not understand? Rain check? My birthday was Sunday...surely he wouldn't miss that.

**E, mom is only here till Mon morn.**

**-Swan**

His reply came two minutes later.

**I'll be w C & her fam until Tues, B. I'll call Renee & explain. k?**

**-Clln.**

Tuesday, as in, two days after my birthday.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice asked, with a worried look on her face.

I realized a tear had been making its way down my cheek.

"Edward, he...umm...will be out of town until Tuesday next week. So he won't be able to have dinner with Mom," I answered, sniffing.

"Why? Is everything okay?"

"Yea, I suppose. He's going somewhere with Charlotte and her family. I don't know," I said, shaking my head and sitting down on my bed.

Alice gasped, "But Bella, your birthday is on Sunday..."

I nodded, "Yea, I know." I hated how my voice cracked at the end. What was I, ten? I would be fine without my best friend being there for my birthday. He'd call or at the very least text me, right? He had all week to tell me, happy birthday.

"Well, I'm sure he has something planned then, I mean, he'd never not celebrate with you," Alice said, lightly bumping my shoulder with hers.

I tried really hard to give a sincere smile but I could tell by the look I got from Alice, I didn't succeed.

Alice stayed until 9:00, reassuring me numerous times that Edward would probably have something really great planned. I never really addressed what she said. I didn't want to think about it. I mean, I was old enough that I should be ok with it.

Before I went to bed, I sent Edward a text.

**I'm sure Mom will undrstnd. Drvn myself 2morrow.**

**-Swan**

I set my alarm, set my phone back down, and said Edward's prayer.

**..(ATH)..**

Despite setting my alarm, I still woke up late on Tuesday. In fact, I woke up just as the first bell was ringing, I'm sure.

I hurried through my morning routine, and was just about to open the front door to leave, when the phone rang. Leave or answer it?

I decided to see who it was, then figured it could only one person. Mom.

"Hello?"

There was a few seconds of silence before Mom answered, "Bella, honey, why are you home? Are you sick?"

"I over slept, I'm getting ready to leave now, what's up?" I asked, playing with the string in my hoodie.

"Oh, ok. I just wanted to call and tell your father my flight plans, but since you'll be picking me up, I'll tell you."

I took the paper and pen, that was kept next to the phone and started writing down the information mom fed me.

"Don't worry about rushing to get me Bella, I don't want you driving like a maniac. Besides, I don't think your truck would make it the whole way if you pushed it too hard."

I groaned, "Mom, my truck is fine. Anyway, is that all ya needed?"

"Actually, there is one more thing, Edward called me last night. He won't be in town for your birthday?" Mom asked, obviously surprised.

"I guess not. He's going out of town with his girlfriend and her family," I answered, trying to keep my voice void of every emotion a statement like that could entice.

"Are you okay with that, I mean, him missing your birthday?"

I sighed, "I don't suppose I have a say in where and when he goes with who. It sucks but I'm not going to beg him to stay."

Mom hummed into the phone for a few seconds, "Well, I think he should be there. You've spent every birthday together since you two met."

"I know, Mom. Listen, I'm gonna head to school but I can't wait to see you Friday and I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay, Bella. I love you, baby. Bye"

I hung up and headed to school.

I knew Mom didn't believe me when I said that I was okay with everything. I was never good at hiding things from her, which made me kind of glad I lived with Dad. I'm sure most of her visit would be spent talking about how I was dealing with it all. Only, I'd have to tell the truth when it came to Mom.

**..(ATH)..**

Other than missing first period, the day had been going good. At lunch, I walked toward our table and saw Alice and Edward already sitting there. They were deep in conversation and I hoped Ali wasn't laying into him. Edward's eyes shifted and landed on me and he cleared his throat loudly. _A little too loud..._

Alice spun around to face me with a huge smile plastered on her face and when I arched an eyebrow, she subdued it a bit.

"What's goin' on guys?" I asked, taking the seat on the other side of Alice.

"What do you mean? Edward and I were just talking." Alice answered a little too fast to be telling me the truth.

"So, what are you and your mom doin' when she gets here?" Edward asked suddenly. _Alright, I'll let it go for now._

"Umm, I don't know really. Dinner probably, shopping I'm sure. Catching up," I trailed off, shrugging my shoulders.

"Well, I called Renee last night, and explained why I wouldn't be there and made sure to promise her a song and two dinner nights when she comes for Christmas." he said, playing with the bag of chips in front of him.

I rolled my eyes. Renee thought Edward hung the moon when he played the piano for her. It would have been embarrassing, if I hadn't had to deal with it for so long.

"I'm sure there are no hard feelings then," I replied, with a small smile.

"Listen, Swan, I just wanted to tell you-"

"Eddie!"

I groaned when the shrill sound of Charlotte's voice reached every corner of the lunch room. Alice rolled her eyes. Edward's eyes lit up. _Gag._

"Hi honey. Why didn't you wait for me after class?" Charlotte asked, sitting on Edward's left knee.

"I needed to talk to Alice about something. Sorry I didn't tell you before," he answered, before kissing her cheek lightly.

"So, Bella, what happened with you and the hot college guy?" Charlotte asked, with a little too much enthusiasm.

Edward's eyes darkened at the question and his jaw tensed.

"Mar..Marcus? Umm, well, he asked me out...on a date this weekend," I said, becoming very interested in the table in front of me.

"Really? That's so cool! He was definitely good looking Bella. Maybe,_ if _it works out that is, we could all go out together," Charlotte suggested.

In unison, Edward and I said, "I don't think so."

We looked at each other for moment, both of us saying what we needed to, without words.

_Me: You're an ass._

_Edward: He's not right for you._

_Me: Then who is?_

_Edward: I..don't know._

He looked away with a sigh and I gave Charlotte a tight smile.

"I'm not sure what's gonna happen with him, but I'll keep the idea in mind."

Charlotte shrugged and went on to talk only to Edward. _Fine by me._

**...(ATH)...**

"Swan, get up."

I groaned, why was my alarm clock saying my name?

"Isabella, let's go!"

I decided to open just one eye, and jumped when I saw Edward standing next to my bed. I glanced at the clock on my night stand and groaned again when I saw the bright 5:26am glaring at me.

"What the hell, Cullen?" I mumbled before turning over to face away from him.

'We have somewhere to go so get up and get dressed. You have 15 minutes," he said with mock authority.

"Dude, it's Thursday, we have school in like three hours. I need to sleep two of those three hours," I replied, pulling my blanket up to my chin.

"Nope, no school today. I have permission from my mom and Charlie, to skip."

Edward sat down next to me on my bed. I rolled back over so that I was facing him and looked at him skeptically, "Charlie... my dad..., I stuttered in question, "chief of police... Charlie Swan is letting me skip school?"

Edward nodded with a smug smile on his face.

"How'd ya pull that one off?" I asked, sitting up and stretching.

He gave a slight shrug, "Your dad loves me Bella," after a brief pause, he continued, "And I may have had to agree to mow the Police Department's lawn four times this summer."

I shook my head and giggled, "Edward Cullen doing manual labor? This I'll have to see."

He laughed and stood back up. "Get dressed, I'll be down stairs. Fifteen minutes, Bella."

I watched as he closed my door and threw back my blankets.

It was early, so that meant it was cold. I decided on just a pair of jeans, a blue sweater, and a pair of Nike's. I also grabbed a hoodie.

"_C'mon Swan...let's move!"_ Edward yelled up the stairs.

I sighed and walked down the stairs to find out where the hell we were going.

**..(ATH)..**

"Seattle?"

Edward glanced at me quickly before turning his attention back to the road, "Yes, Seattle, is that a problem?"

I shook my head slightly, "No, no problem, just surprised. What do you need that couldn't be ordered online?"

I had no problem taking an impromptu trip, especially if it meant getting to spend six collective hours with Edward, but he usually just shopped online when he couldn't find something in Forks or Port Angeles.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked, looking at me with a smile.

"Would I be asking if it were?"

He let out a small laugh before answering, "Good point. It's for your birthday, Bella."

"What?" I asked, slipping my shoes off and bringing my feet up into the seat. He knew I didn't like surprises and I know he hadn't mentioned this trip before.

"I won't be here for your real birthday, and I'm really sorry about that by the way, so we're gonna celebrate today," he explained with a small smile.

Alice. She probably told him I was upset about him not being here and he felt like he had to do this. Of course I wanted to spend time with Edward but not out of guilt. I wanted him with me because he wanted to be.

"Did Alice talk to you? Is that why you're doing this, Cullen? Because if it is, just turn around." I honestly hadn't meant for it to come out as cold as it did, but I wasn't looking for a pity party.

His smile fell, "Swan, I've had this planned since Saturday, as soon as I realized I wouldn't be here. That's what Alice and I were talking about."

I felt like an idiot. I should have asked him in a different way and I shouldn't have accused him of doing this for all the wrong reasons.

"I..I'm sorry. I just...I don't know." I admitted, feeling so guilty. "I'm sorry, Edward." I didn't know what else to say.

He didn't respond, and we spent the rest of the trip to the ferry in silence. I'd glance at him and he'd glance at me, but no words were spoken. My reasoning, it's a lot harder to put your foot in your mouth when said mouth isn't open.

The ferry ride and the rest of the trip to Seattle wasn't a complete bust, we did the small talk thing and we made it work. Once we actually arrived in Seattle though, it was like nothing had happened. We both welcomed the day away from everyone...everyone but each other.

After parking in a parking garage, we started walking down the busy streets. I loved big cities, though I'd never want to permanently live in one. Visiting was great. I had been to Seattle quite a few times and always enjoyed it. It was still pretty early when we got there; just after 9:00am. So the morning work rush was over which left the possibilities of things to do wide open.

"I thought we'd hit up that bakery you like so much, the ones with the eclairs you love," Edward said, looking at his watch, "They're open till eleven."

I smiled, "Okay! Don't let me eat more than two though, I'd hate to have a stomach ache the whole time we're here."

Edward laughed and held out his arm for me to take. "Oh my God, I didn't think Mom and Dad would ever get you up from that bench. You were such a whiny girl. I told you to stop at two."

When we were twelve, I came to Seattle with the Cullen's for a weekend and Carlisle had insisted on going to this bakery, where I found the best eclair in the world, and preceded to eat three. I had the worst stomach ache of my life and I refused to walk for a good hour. I'd never seen Carlisle so annoyed and Esme so tickled.

"Hey, I was miserable, so be quiet. I have a little more self control now, so it shouldn't be a problem." I retorted.

We made it to the bakery and Edward ordered himself a blueberry muffin and a caramel latte and, taking the safe route, I told the barista I'd take one chocolate eclair and a hot chocolate.

We ate our breakfast and talked about nothing of consequence. We talked about Mom coming to visit and how Esme and Carlisle were, to which I made a mental note to go see them soon.

When we left the bakery, Edward asked me what I wanted to do. It was almost 10:30 so nothing would be very crowded. We walked slowly as I tried to decide and as a bus went by, one of the advertisements caught my attention.

"I want to go to the aquarium," I stated.

"Sounds good to me," Edward replied, offering his arm again.

I sighed, completely content with the day so far. This could totally sound weird, obsessed, and a little insane but sometimes when we were like this...I let myself think we were a couple. I wondered if this is how he'd act if we were...would he still offer his arm or would he hold my hand? _You're off your rocker Bella._ Don't I know it.

The aquarium wasn't crowded but still had quite a few people there. If I were to guess, I'd say tourists. They "oooh" and "aww'd" about everything, it was a tell-tale sign.

Edward and I made our way through the exhibits reading and commenting on all the information cards that were in place. We made sure to spend a ridiculous amount of time in the "Ocean's Oddities" exhibit, because Edward loved that one. Now he was acting like a tourist. I watched him get all excited with every weird, but very cool, creature in there. It was like we were twelve again. I smiled almost the whole time.

My favorite part was the "Underwater Dome".

I loved being surrounded by the water and honestly, it was just beautiful to me. We took our time, though it wouldn't have taken more than ten minutes to see everything. It was tranquil and light. A man with a very expensive looking camera asked Edward to take a picture of his family, which sounded mundane, until he couldn't figure out where the shutter button was. He kept pushing the power button instead so what should have taken all of two minutes, ended up stretching to a good ten.

At 12:30, we decided to find something to eat. Edward decided on Mexican food. Again, the meal was supplemented with small talk and easy laughter. It hadn't escaped my mind that we never broached the 'Charlotte or Marcus' topics. I couldn't say I was disappointed though, at least about the Charlotte part.

I didn't know what was going on with Marcus. We had made plans earlier in the week for him to come to dinner with Mom, Dad, and myself on Saturday. Although I did give him ample opportunity to decline, I wasn't going to lie and say I wasn't interested in him and getting to know him better but today, with Edward, I wanted to forget about everything but us.

After lunch, we decided to stop at some of the street booths that were open. We joked around about a lot of the stuff we saw and tried on some of the scarves and hats. Edward even bought a Mariner's hat. We came to this one booth that had the most unique jewelry- it was beautiful. I was browsing the tables when the vendor came over.

"Looking to buy your girl somethin, sir?"

I gave the man a small smile. I loved when people made the wrong assumption about us. I also loved the sound of 'your girl' in reference to me. I wanted it to mean something, a stranger seeing how we could be together, but honestly I knew he just saw a girl and a boy hanging out. There was no sign above our heads that read 'meant to be together but he's too dumb to realize it and she's too scared to just tell him'. Alas, that would be too simple.

Edward looked at me, then back to the vendor, "I'm not sure yet. If she finds somethin she likes, we'll take it."

I'm sure I looked confused. We were used to people mistaking us as more than friends but Edward has always corrected them or I did, depending on the mood I was in.

Leaning in he whispered, "It's not a big deal, Bella. Besides, in a way you are my girl."

I didn't know if I wanted to be happy at that statement or pissed. I wasn't his girl, I was his friend and that's how he should treat me consistently. I didn't like this up and down stuff. Now that I thought about it, the more I wondered why he was all of sudden okay with all of this. _Maybe it's Marcus..._

Just as that thought entered my mind, I saw it. The piece of jewelry that I wanted, it was like it had my name on it. I pointed to the ring, "I'd like that one, please."

The vendor nodded and picked it up for me to examine a little more closely, it was perfect.

Edward stepped back to my side after hearing me claim something. "Wow, Swan, that's awesome. You're sure you want that one? It's pretty plain?"

I nodded, "We're pretty plain. It's the perfect souvenir for the day. _B & E_, right?"

A smile made its way onto his face, "Yea, that's right."

After making my birthday purchase, we started walking again, looking at some more booths and talking. Edward was the first one to bring up the two unmentioned topics.

"So, what's goin on between you and that guy?" his eyes quickly glanced to me, as if trying to gauge my reaction.

"His name is Marcus, and I told you, I don't know yet."

"Do you like him?" he asked, looking down at me.

"I don't really know him yet, but yea, he's a really nice guy."

It was silent for a minute.

"I just want you to be careful, Swan. Don't rush into anything."

I sighed, "Edward, I'm a big girl, I'm not going to jump into anything simply because I am extremely attracted to him, physically"

I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face when I saw Edward's jaw tense, "Bella, just...no"

I laughed loudly and when he turned to look at me, he didn't fight his own smile.

"What? I'm a woman, Cullen, I have needs and wants," I said in mock seriousness.

He let out a short laugh, "That's all fine and dandy but I don't want to hear about who you may or may not get to fulfill those needs or wants."

I playfully bumped his arm with my shoulder and asked a question I'd been wanting to ask for a few days, "Why did you tell Charlotte no, when she brought up the idea of all of us going out one night?"

He didn't answer for a minute but then he offered me his arm again and explained, "I just...I don't know Bella...what if we don't like each other? You and I already don't see a lot of each other because you and Charlotte don't get along. I'd hate for us to stop hangin' out all together."

I saw his point but I had one of my own to make, "You won't know if you'll get along with him until you try and you have to let go of this 'he might hurt Bella' mentality."

"But he could, hurt you, I mean and then I'd have to kick his ass," he replied, being completely serious.

"There's a chance I could get hurt with anyone. Marcus, some guy I meet at college, hell Alice could hurt me, Jasper, you...you could hurt me.." I trailed off, hoping he wouldn't ask about the last part of that "great" point I was making.

"I'd never hurt you on purpose, Bella." he sighed.

"I know."

"Did you really think I forgot your birthday?" he asked, the hurt apparent in his voice.

"Yes." I didn't see the point in lying.

Again, we walked for a while, sightseeing and taking in the better part of downtown Seattle. Around 5, we decided to catch dinner before heading back to Forks. We settled on a light meal, house salad and turkey sandwiches.

We took a cab back to the parking garage and before Edward started up the Volvo, he turned to face me.

"Bella, I'm sorry if I ever made you think I'd forget your birthday..or anything else of importance to you. I always want to be there for you. Okay?"

I wanted to say that it was alright and I understood but I didn't. It wasn't that simple. Words were only part of the equation, I needed action too. I'd tell him "okay", when I knew for sure it was. So, I decided to let the statement stand and let the question disappear.

"Will you put my ring on me?"

He sighed but nodded.

He extracted the small ring box from the purple bag between us.

"Which finger?" he asked, holding the ring up.

I wiggled my middle finger on my left hand.

He slipped it on and I smiled. It was perfect. Simple and plain but everything I wanted.

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I'm so sorry for the delay in updating. RL & all that.

I promise to try to do better next chapter!

thanks for reading & reviewing.

if ya wanna...**hayboo05**...on Twitter.

PS: there's a picture of Bella's ring on my profile.

-rach.


	8. Chapter Seven

I am SO sorry about the delay in posting this chapter! My Internet has been completely absent due to a storm & they still don't know when they'll have it up. *sigh*

Anyway, thanks so much to Kelly for not only pre-reading this for me but also posting it for me!

Thank so much to FashionistaJR for beta'ing the chapter!

Bbebar...you amaze me...& I love you.

Also, I'd like to thank TwiFicPromotion for reviewing ATH! Callisign30 reviewed it. I'm honored!

Over 100 reviews...thank you all so much!

Oh & btw...this is EPOV!

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight & it's characters. I own this.

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Isabella Marie. My best friend. The person who knew me better than anyone else did. The keeper of my secrets and the first person, sometimes the only person, to call me out on my bullshit.

She'd seen me at my best like when I ran a marathon with my dad a year ago and finished in the top twenty. I was so proud of myself that day. She was prouder. Then there was when my Grandpa Cullen died, that was me at my worst. She didn't let me push her away...she was far too stubborn to let that happen.

I felt safe laughing, smiling, snorting, crying, yelling, and just being silent with her.

I'd once said all of this to my dad. He asked me how she made me feel. I didn't see a reason to make it less than it was. When I'd finished...he was silent. Minutes ticked by and after 300 seconds he spoke, "Do you want her forever?"

I inhaled sharply. I was seventeen. Forever was a very long time.

"Yes."

"Then I suppose you should tell her all that you told me. Including the answer to the question I asked you."

He left then. Went to find _his_ forever, my mom. They had something I wanted. Love without fear of rejection. They were never best friends before they met and fell in love. They had it easy.

Bella and I were attached at the hip. I wanted her heart.

**...(ATH)...**

I wasn't always so in touch with my feelings. I mean..I was a guy. I cussed, spit, farted, and made insensitive jokes all the time. Bella just made me want to be better. I didn't act like a baboon when I was around her. We had an easy relationship. There were no pretenses or images to uphold. We could just ...be.

Normally, I could keep my feelings for Bella under control. I loved her...that much I was sure of. It's _how_ I loved her that was confusing. Some days I saw nothing more than my best friend. The girl who knew I didn't like to wake up before ten on a Saturday morning butalways called me at 9:30. The girl who practically lived at my house every summer until our parents thought we'd reached the age that co-ed sleepovers were no longer appropriate. The day that decision was made, we were thirteen, Bella cried. We ended up talking on the phone until we both fell asleep.

Other days, I loved her. Really loved her. Usually it was days when Newton or Crowley would walk too close to her or take too much of her time during a passing period. So maybe it wasn't really love. Maybe I just wanted her all to myself. For so long she'd been mine.

I tried to keep myself occupied with girls that I didn't have such a connection with. Sounds weird right?

Charlotte was that for me right now.

There was no established connection. She didn't know everything about me and I didn't love her. Hell, I barely knew her. She was beautiful and smart, though she didn't show that often. I don't know who told girls it was sexy to play dumb. Anyway, she was what I wanted right now.

Except for when Bella mentioned Marcus.

The college douche that would end up hurting her. I couldn't believe Jasper was okay with them seeing each other. Jasper had always been really protective of Rosalie's friends. I couldn't understand why he'd just throw her to the wolves. I also didn't get why she wanted to go out with him. Sure he was alright looking-ya know, for a guy- and he obviously wasn't an outward creep since Jazz brought him home but still he was too old for Bella. I wasn't okay with her being alone with him.

When they disappeared together at Jasper's party I was pissed. I didn't like her being so far away. What if he tried to force himself on her and I couldn't hear her yell for me? When we were little she would always call me her "KIS"; her knight in shining armor. When I pointed out that she left out the 'A' she replied, "Yea, I know Edward but who calls someone their "KISA"? "KIS" is perfect." We were eight so I didn't argue. It was months before any of the adults realized she wasn't actually asking me for a kiss. Looking back though...I wish she _had_ been asking me that. I could have gotten away with it without having to explain why I wanted to. She'd never want a knight now. She was strong and independent. Sometimes I wished she leaned on me a bit more, she always took on too much.

If you hadn't noticed...I made a lot of wishes when it came to Bella.

The night of the party, Charlotte asked me to go away with her and her family. I wanted to say no. We hadn't been together that long and I would be gone for Bella's birthday. Then I saw her with Marcus and when she said she wasn't a puppy who followed me around...I immediately found Charlotte and agreed to go. It was spiteful of me, I know.

I wouldn't celebrate her 18th birthday with her but I knew I had to do something; I wasn't a complete asshole.

I decided I'd take Bella to Seattle and spend the day with her. It had been so long since it was just me and her having a good time. When I mentioned the day trip to Charlotte, she made it very clear she wasn't happy about me spending all day...alone with Bella. She whined and pouted and even offered to go down on me if I didn't go...or took her. It was kind of annoying really but she made a valid point..she was my girlfriend and I should spend time with her. What we had was new and needed my full attention.

I pointed out to her though that I would be spending four days with her and I was missing Bella's birthday to do so. I'd never seen Charlotte smile so big.

I didn't understand why Char and Bella couldn't get along. Honestly, I think it was more of a 'wouldn't' get along. I didn't think I'd ever get Charlotte to stop whining about what Bella said to her. That's just how she was though, she gave it back if you dished it out. I only got upset when Char told me that Bella made it a point to say that I always chose her over my girlfriends. Why would she say that to a current one? I didn't think Bella would ever purposely ruin a relationship for me but she obviously wasn't afraid to lay out my track record.

When I told her I didn't need to run everything by her and that my personal life was just that, she looked hurt and I wanted to apologize right away but then I heard Charlotte's words from earlier,_ "She makes you feel what_ _she wants you to Eddie. She wants you to feel sorry for her so she gets what she wants."_ I don't know that I believed them fully but I didn't want to give in so easily. So I made her wait a few hours and then apologized. I know...hard ass right?

I couldn't stay mad at her and I rarely had to be. We got along so well and usually if we fought, it was because we were so much alike. I felt empty without her close so the idea of us not talking or hanging out made me ill.

I finally got Charlotte to at least be okay with the Seattle idea and so I showed up at the Swan residence at 5:20. Woke sleeping beauty up and we were in Seattle by 9. The entire time we were there was comfortable and I could tell we both felt at ease. No Charlotte or Marcus talk just Bella and I doing our thing.

When we went to the aquarium, Bella looked like a kid on Christmas day. A smile was permanently plastered on her face. She looked beautiful. I snuck my phone out of my jean pocket and as discreetly as I could, snapped a picture of her looking at a school of fish in the "Underwater Dome". I saved it as "_mi cisne"_ - it was "my swan" in Spanish. Bella loved old school Spanish films, the kind with the subtitles that distracted you from the actual movie. She just explained it as "just a good excuse to watch it again!"

When the street vendor implied that Bella was my girl, I didn't correct him. I usually did and the surprise was evident in Bella's face, when I let it go. She was _my girl. _My wingman, my conscious, my rebellious side-all that was Bella- she was definitely _my_ girl. When I caught sight of the ring she'd chosen as her birthday gift from me, I wanted to smile like a girl. I held on to my manhood though and just told her it was awesome and asked if she was sure. I noted how plain it was but knew right away that was part of the appeal.

"We're pretty plain. It's the perfect souvenir for the day._B & E_, right?" Bell asked with a nod.

I let the smile appear now, "Yea, that's right."

After walking around some more, I finally decided to bring up the Marcus guy. I wanted to know how real this was or was gonna be. I wanted to see where she wanted it to go.

"So, what's goin on between you and that guy?" I hoped I sounded casual.

"His name is Marcus, and I told you, I don't know yet."

Was she purposely being vague?

"Do you like him?"

"I don't really know him yet, but yea, he's a really nice guy."

Again, I wondered if she was holding out on me. She didn't usually do that. Maybe she was telling me all she had to tell.

"I just want you to be careful, Swan. Don't rush into anything," I stated, using the nickname I had for her. I used it more than her name if she was present but I always used Bella when talking about her. I'm not sure why and the only person who had openly asked me about it was Alice. I simply told her that Swan and Cullen was just our thing. To me the nicknames were too formal to use when speaking about one another. Alice had shared that Bella never called me Cullen when it was just the two of them. _I knew there was a reason I liked Alice..._

When Bella implied that that she physically attracted to Marcus, I tensed up. I couldn't even think of her with him like that. I mean sure Bella was no virgin. She'd had sex with that James guy but there was no chance of them being anything. Bella didn't even have feelings for him when they did it. Bella seemed to genuinely have feelings for this guy or at least wanted there to be feelings and that was not okay with me. If she had another guy in her life, would I still be as important?

When she asked why I didn't want to double with her and Marcus, I made up some lame excuse. She, of course, countered with a valid argument and said that anyone she knew could hurt her. Even me. That might have made me more uneasy than anything. I never wanted to hurt Bella, ever.

I realized very early in this friendship of ours that when Bella smiled, I was happy. When she was in pain, I hurt.

That's love right?

**...(ATH)...**

Friday morning, I left with Charlotte's family to go to LA. They had friends there that they hadn't seen in a while and so we would be staying in a hotel close to where they lived. The entire flight was filled with questions about the day before. Charlotte was relentless. When I pointed out that I had told her "every single thing that happened" four times already, she said if I had a problem telling her then there must be something I didn't want to tell her.

When she went to the restroom, I pretended to fall asleep with my ear buds in.

Charlotte was great most of the time but she was so insecure. Me not sleeping with her yet only seemed to fuel the fire. She'd tried entirely too soon after I asked her out to make us "complete" as she put it. Now, I was a guy and I had a hot girlfriend but even I had manners. Those manners did not include screwing my girlfriend of two days in the backseat of my Volvo. We had messed around a little bit. She practically begged me to let her give me a blow job, which I didn't find attractive at all though...I still let her do it. Hey...I made an effort to be a gentleman most of the time...but I was still a teenage guy! I had released some of her sexual tension as well...girls loved my piano fingers. I just didn't feel like sex was a good thing right now. I needed to know if she was the clingy type first. If it didn't work out long term then I did not want a stalker situation.

She'd asked me about my sexual history and I told her. I felt like being upfront was necessary. I was hardly a man whore, but I had had my fair share of girls. I didn't like a casual fuck so my number of one night stands or fuck buddies was low. When I asked Charlotte about hers, she wasn't as forth coming as I hoped she would be. She said she knew how to get around in the sheets and that she was clean. _Oookay._

When Charlotte asked me if Bella and I had ever done anything, I hesitated answering. We had never messed around. We had kissed once. We were both kind of tipsy though -okay Bella was drunk off her ass- so we never talked about it, mainly because she didn't remember doing it. I knew Charlotte would analyze this into the ground and I really did want to be completely honest but she wasn't giving me all the details I'd given her about her past. In the end, I decided that it was okay to shy away from the details of this; in other words: lie.

"No, Bella and I are just friends. We've never done anything," I answered with a straight face.

I always got this dumb smile on my face when I would think about that kiss. It happened at a party at the Hale's. Bella was such a light weight and when she stumbled into the den where Jazz, Emmett, Rose, andmyself were playing Wii, I went over to help her to the love seat by the wall. Everyone else kept talking, playing and laughing, leaving me to take care of her. They knew I'd want the task anyway.

I took her shoes off leaving one sock on because she always had to leave one leg out of the cover and she hated when her feet got cold. I pulled the throw off the back of the love seat and covered her up. I leaned down and kissed her forehead but before I could stand all the way up, she grabbed a fist full of my shirt and brought me back down until her half closed eyes were even with mine. "Thank you for always taking care of me," she whispered and then her lips touched mine. Soft and silky. It took me a minute to remember to breath but by then she had let go of me and was snuggling into the blanket. I touched my fingers to my lips and then turned around meeting five sets of eyes. Alice had joined the group. They all sat there with their eyes wide, mouth open.

"My turn yet?" I asked to diffuse the situation.

No one spoke.

"She wouldn't want to know. So don't tell her," I said in a low voice. Half hoping they wouldn't hear me and tell her anyway. I picked up the controller and started the next bowling game.

"Who's ass am I kicking?"

Emmett gave me a nod and a smirk before picking up the other controller.

I don't know if Charlotte believed me or not but she let it go. I was glad too. I didn't want to have to hide the smile that came with that memory, at least not if I didn't have to.

When we got to the hotel after landing at LAX, Charlotte's dad handed out typed itineraries and made it very clear that any function that said 'family' meant everyone must be there. Noted. Most of the days were planned from sunrise to sunset. Lunches with people I didn't know. Dinner's with people I didn't know. Putt-putt with people I didn't _want_ to know. It was all to planned out for me. I liked a little spontaneity. On Sunday, I tried to call Bella all day but as soon as I had picked up the phone, Charlotte was right there. It was like she knew what I was going to do and didn't want me to do it. Thankfully, I had called the day before and arranged for flowers to be sent to the house today. Well really it was one flower. A pink Calla Lilly. With it I also sent eighteen snack size packets of peanut M&M''s favorite candy in the perfect serving size. Her words...not mine.

I didn't get to speak with Bella on the phone because Charlotte kept doing the showing up thing so I had to settle on a text. I hated how impersonal it was but it was either a text or nothing at all, and I wasn't okay with the latter.

**Happy Birthday Swan. Hope you got my gift. Been crazy busy or I wld've called. See ya &love ya.**

**-Clln.**

I got a reply after about ten minutes. Which meant she was either mad or sad. Either possibility sucked.

**Thanks. Hope ur havin fun. The flower was beautiful & i'll share my candy.**

**-Swan.**

I sighed. I don't know why the absence of 'miss and love you too' bothered me but it did. I was just about to roll over and try to sleep, something that had been difficult to do since I hated sleeping anywhere other than my bed, when my phone buzzed and lit up.

**Miss & love you back. Be safe.**

**-Swan.**

I smiled at the screen. I wanted to have a conversation with her but it was late and I didn't want to keep her up. As if she read my mind I received another text.

**-Too tired to talk?**

**Not to you.** I replied, propping my head up on all four pillows that was on my bed.

**-Been a tourist much?**

**Down to evry last dtail.**

**-No fun. Go crazy Clln.**

I laughed into the empty room.

**Need some inspiration.**

**-Be a street performer 4 an hr. Give the $ to charity.**

**Ahh. U make it sound so simple.**

**-Isn't it?**

_I wish._

Before I could reply she sent another text.

**-Pink?**

**It reminded me of ur blush.**

**-*blushes**

**Haha. Mission accomplished. Have fun? How wasur date?**

I hated to ask about the date. I didn't want to know if it went good but I also didn't want her all sad and sappy if it went badly and she really liked the guy.

**-Fun? Mayb a lil. Date? =)**

_You just had to ask didn't ya Cullen..._

**I'm happy for you.**

It wasn't a lie. I wanted Bella to be happy, always. I just didn't realize that someone other than me and her parents could make that happen.

**-The same way I'm happy 4 u?**

I thought for a minute. Bella seemed to be happy for me. But she didn't like Charlotte and had made that pretty clear.

**Exactly.**

**-I c dreams n my future. Night best friend.**

**Hope they're good ones. Night best friend.**

I read the through the conversation twice before putting my phone down and laying back down. Before my eyes closed I whispered, "Let me keep her."

* * *

At The Hip has 2 wonderful banners..that I'll tweet. & post in my profile here when my Internet stops being such a douche. =)

Let me know what ya think of BFFWard's side of it all.

& if ya want... hayboo05 on Twitter!

-rach.


	9. Chapter Eight

Hello wonderful people. First of all I'm so sorry it took me forever to get this chapter up. RL has kinda sucked balls lately.

First thing is I'd like to thank my Beta - **kellyprovence**. She is amazing. Truely.

**Bbebar** pre-read the chapter. She is my love.

To my **Rob hoors**. I would gladly give my heart to you all...but ya know...Rob has it. ;)

I'd like to thank **FashionistaJR** for everything she's done for AtH. 3 bb!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight. I own this story though...you can look but don't touch! =)

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I got home Monday night around 10:30. I had never been so happy to be in Forks. Ever. I didn't understand how Charlotte tolerated her family all the time. Her mother talked all the time. Seriously I think she may have taken four breaths the entire trip. Her father, well he was a control freak extraordinaire. I almost asked to take a piss once because it wasn't in his typed out schedule. The only semi normal member of her family was her little sister. Bree was fourteen. She had dark brown hair and hazel eyes. She wore glasses but they looked cute on her and she read...a lot. She had a dry sense of humor but I liked it. She reminded me a lot of Bella. I actually preferred talking to Bree though Charlotte rarely let it happen.

Mom and Dad were already in bed when I drug myself up the stairs. I was exhausted. I showered quickly and sighed contently when I pulled on an old pair of sweats and a black wife beater. I hadn't felt this comfortable all weekend. I fell heavily onto my bed and closed my eyes. I tried to block out the bad parts of the weekend, which admittedly was a large amount of it, and focused on the good parts.

Texting Bella was a good part and finding her something to bring back was a good part. I hoped she liked the gift. She wasn't a fan of me buying her things. She had the money to buy the things she wanted but she liked the vintage stuff and the things that didn't cost a lot but meant something to her. Another reason she was the coolest person I knew.

Charlotte and I didn't have the weekend she had planned or at least that was my guess. She moped a lot today and she tried to go down on me every chance she thought she had. I didn't let her of course. For one her parents were never out of sight for long and two, I didn't want her doing that stuff unless she wanted to. I had a feeling she was trying to prove something and that shit just wasn't cool. When I was loading my stuff into my car before leaving her house she asked if we could go for a drive and make up for the boring weekend. The gleam in her eye told me exactly what she had in mind and part of me, mainly my dick, was all for it. The other part just didn't want to go there. I knew this thing with Charlotte wasn't going to work out in the long run. I mean, I liked her and she was gorgeous but she wasn't...Bella. I ended the night by politely declining the offer from Charlotte claiming to not feel good, which wasn't an all around lie. She looked pissed as I reversed out of the driveway but I couldn't find it in me to feel bad about it. I know, I'm a jerk.

My phone buzzed bringing me out of my replay, I smiled. It was Bella.

**One New Text From**

**Bella.**

I hit 'view' to see the message.

**Hey Clln, just chkn to mke sure ya got hme alright. Let me kno plz.**

I replied.

**Miss me? Hme safe & sound. Tired & cant sleep.**

After I sent the text I went down stairs to grab something to drink. I hated that I was so tired I couldn't sleep. It made me very happy that my parents were letting me stay home tomorrow to re coop from the flying. I was sure I'd be asleep most of the day. I checked my phone when I got back up to my room with my glass of ice tea and it showed no new messages. _Well...that sucks._ I had wanted Bella to talk to me. I wanted to know how her weekend was, what she got for her birthday, and because I was obviously a masochist, I also wanted to hear about her date with Marcus. The focus mainly being on did she junk punch him by ways of my mental chanting?

If I was honest with myself, I just missed her and wanted to talk to her.

After I finished most of my tea, I walked into the bathroom to piss and brush my teeth. I had just placed the toothbrush in my mouth when I heard a thud from my room. I nearly screamed but that wouldn't have been manly and it would have shown the intruder I was scared. Granted I was... but he didn't need to know that. I looked around quickly to see if I had anything resembling a weapon and all I could find was a plunger. A fucking plunger. _Yeah, this was gonna be golden._

I figured it was better to be embarrassed by my measly weapon then die of pride so I grabbed the handle of the plunger and made my way to the bathroom door which was only slightly cracked. I counted to three and threw the door open and raised the plunger and before I could even think of bringing it down I heard a loud chuckle.

"A fucking plunger Cullen? Are you kidding me? What were you gonna do, beat the _shit_ out of me?"

I watched with amusement while Bella spent nearly five minutes laughing and rolling around on my carpet trying to catch her breath. Every time she started to regain some composure she'd look up at me, still holding the plunger mind you, and lose it again. I finally turned around and replaced the bathroom accessory in it's rightful place, finished brushing my teeth, washed my face and decided to check on Bella.

She had moved to my bed. Feet bare and she was looking at the book on my nightstand.

"Make yourself at home. You're such a criminal. What would your dad think?" I asked, closing the window she must have fallen in through.

She smiled a huge smile. _God, I missed that. Shut it Cullen. Stop arguing with yourself dumb ass. _I sighed.

"Like your parents would ever press charges. They love me."

I didn't argue. There wasn't a member of the Cullen family that didn't adore this girl. When we were little, I thought often that my parents loved her more than they loved me. It was nonsense thinking of course but they accepted Bella so easily. The same could be said about me in regards to her family. Renee thought it was great that Bella and I were so close. She actually said once that it would help Bella be less socially retarded. I never understood that line of reasoning but I was glad she found me acceptable company for her daughter. Charlie wasn't as inviting in the beginning. At seven years old, he had me pegged as a deviant boy trying to woo his daughter. When he actually said that exact thing to me, still at age seven, I stared at him dumbly for a couple of minutes before he summed it up for me in lamens terms: "Don't hurt Bella...or you'll get a spankin. Got it Edward?" I of course agreed to never hurt her. I've tried to keep the agreement but as most teenage boys do, I've failed.

I laid down next to Bella, "What are you doing over here so late? You actually have to go to school tomorrow, ya know."

"I'm going in late tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment."

My scrunched up, "Are you sick?"

She shook her head but gave nothing else in the form of an answer.

"How was your trip?" She asked closing the appointment conversation. For now.

"Well, it left a lot to be desired. I don't really wanna talk about it...living it was enough."

Bella laughed at the statement but I was being serious.

She rolls so her head is propped up on her hand and she's facing me. I see the small scar right above her left eye. I did that when we were ten. I'd never felt so bad about throwing a rock at girl...

"I missed you best friend." She whispered. Her eyes down.

I smile a little smile. She missed me too. _What are you gonna do about it Cullen? Oh! That's right, nothin..._

"I missed you too, Bella."

We laid there for a long time. Nothing said. It was only four days but it seemed like longer.

I take a deep breath before asking the question I don't want to know the answer to.

"So, what's going on with you and that guy?"

"Marcus," she started, emphasizing his name, "went well. Mom loved him and Dad didn't kill him so all in all I think the night was a success."

I didn't say anything. Just nodded my head. That is the answer I didn't want to hear.

"You okay?"

When I looked up she had concern in her eyes. I wanted to tell her no. I wanted to say all the things I had in my head...but if I couldn't make sense of them then how would Bella?

She turned over to look at my alarm clock and noted the time. 1:02AM.

"I should go, we'll talk tomorrow though? Like really talk, okay?"

"Yea, you should just ditch all day tomorrow. Since you're missing first half anyway," I responded hoping she'd say yes.

She stayed quiet for a minute then a smile crept across her face.

Yes!

"My appointment is at 10:30 so I'll be by after. I'll text when I'm on my way so you better have your lazy ass up," She said poking me in the ribs.

"Yes, sir," I said as I gave her a mock salute.

"That's Ms. Sir thank you very much. Bye Edward."

She waved and smiled at me before she shut my bedroom door.

I decided then that I'd give Charlotte two more weeks and if we didn't improve in any way, it was over.

I heard a faint thump as I was flicking off my lamp.

"God, I'm glad she took the stairs," I mumbled as I climbed out of bed and went to go check on my less than stealthy burglar.

...ATH...

I woke up to excessive knocking. I tried to make it go away. Willed it even but it just wouldn't stop. I was going to kill the knock.

I felt my bed shift and I wondered if the knock had made the decision to kill me.

I turned my head to the left and was face to face with my Bella.

The smile that graced her face was beautiful. It had been a while since I'd woken up to her face.

"Hi," I said, my voice raspy with sleep.

"I told her to have your lazy ass out of bed when I got here...you're lame."

"I'm tired Swan. Shut it." I grumbled before throwing the cover over both our heads.

"Dude, morning breath is no one's friend. Breathe with your mouth closed will ya?"

"Well, at least I have morning breath as an excuse...what's yours?" I responded with a smirk.

"I'm gonna have to kill you now. Prepare to die."

Before I had time to react Bella launched herself at me and landed on my back, damn near knocking the wind out of me. I knew before she did it what she was going to do. There were two people who knew where I was ticklish and only one of those people ever dared to use the information. Bella knew exactly which ribs to go between with her thin little fingers...I seriously almost stopped breathing because I laughed so hard. I struggled to turn over so I could grab her hands but she wouldn't let up at all and I thought I was going to piss myself. I had yet to use the bathroom after all.

I saw her foot swing up by my head and the light bulb went off. Her knee! Bella was nothing if not boy crazy. I reached back with my hand and started doing some tickling of my own and when her assault faltered just a bit I flipped over and had her pinned. I tried to catch my breath as she laughed and threw out empty threats of getting me back in all these ridiculous ways. I was still breathing hard when I looked down at her. Her face was slightly pink from the laughing and the fact that we were still under the blanket. Her hair was beautiful chaos. For a second I saw her eyes glance at my lips and I knew she was thinking the same thing I was. I lowered my head just a bit to test the waters, her eyes widened a bit but she made no move to stop me. I licked my bottom lip because I knew she was going to taste so sweet.

"Cullen, you're breath really is hideous."

It came out as a whisper.

I sighed and let my head drop to her shoulder.

She didn't want me to kiss her.

I rolled off of her and pulled the blanket down from over us, glad for the new air and the coolness it brought. I hadn't noticed just how sweaty I was.

I didn't look at her but I knew she was watching me.

"I'm gonna go shower and brush my teeth...make me breakfast please?" I asked and pouted my lip.

I heard a light giggle and a soft okay before the bed again shifted and she was gone.

Stupid morning breath.

...ATH...

Bella made me a big helping of ...cereal.

"Bella, I could have made this. I was hoping for maybe scrambled eggs with bacon and a glass of OJ," I said as I sat down and looked down at the now soggy frosted flakes. I wondered where she found these since Dad definitely did not allow foods with so much sugar in the house. Down side of having a doctor as a dad.

"Well, hope in one hand and shit in the other..."

I decide against the cereal and pick up a cereal bar instead.

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked as I unwrapped my hearty breakfast.

Bella didn't answer right away and that made me nervous.

"Well, I guess I just wanted to let you know that I'm dating Marcus. Really dating him."

I figured this was the case. She didn't want to kiss me upstairs because she has a boyfriend. _You also have a girlfriend, you remember her?_

"Oh, well...that's great, Swan," I replied hoping she believed the fake enthusiasm in my voice.

"Well, this weekend went so well and he's so nice, good looking, smart, funny...I didn't see a reason not to date him...you know?"

I nod because I did. I certainly hadn't given her any reason to say no.

"As long as you're happy Bella, that's all I want for you."

It's quiet for a while and I finish off my breakfast bar and drink my milk. I wasn't sure what to say. I knew what I needed to say or what I didn't need to say but if she was happy who am I to mess that up?

Eventually we move to the living room and things are less tense and quiet. We play three surprisingly long games of Thumb War. Surprising because my fingers have to be twice the length of hers. I'm sure we looked stupid with our tongues out and moving from one end of the couch to the other with our elbows nearly hitting a handful of different things, but we didn't care. If we can't be stupid with each then we just can't be stupid with anyone.

When I beat her for the third time, I asked what she got for her birthday.

"Mom got me this really awesome purse that I'm afraid to carry because I don't want to get it dirty and she also gave me Grandma Taylor's diamond earrings. Let's see, Dad bought me a new digital camera. Oh! I'll be right back!" She said excitedly before running back up stairs. She was only gone for a minute and when she got back down to the living room she was carrying what I assumed was the new camera she had just been talking about.

"See, it's pretty huh? Dad said I needed new pictures to take with me to school so smile Cullen."

I put my hands in front of the lens so she can't take the picture.

"Only if we take one together."

She sighs but moves to sit by my side. Since I'm sitting with my back in the corner she sits slightly in front of me and I have to put my arm around her. Well, I don't have to...but I do it anyway.

She checked to make sure I wasn't giving her bunny ears and then told me to smile and say cheese.

I smile and say cheese.

She turns the camera around where the picture is displayed.

"I want a copy of that."

She nodded.

"Let's do a silly one and then I'll go back to telling you how I made out like bandit for my birthday." She said as she got the camera ready again.

I couldn't see what she was doing but I just stuck my tongue out and gave her bunny ears.

When she showed me the picture we both laughed.

She was sticking her tongue out too.

"So, anyway, Alice gave me a gift card, this perfume she said would catch me a good man, and all the best 80's movies. I seriously have every Molly Ringwald movie ever made."

I laughed at her expression.

"You of course know what you got me and Marcus gave me a mix CD."

"I'll be right back."

I decided to go ahead and give her the gift I got her from L.A.

I picked up the box that housed the bracelet and said a silent prayer that she'd accept it. It was a little expensive but what from Tiffany's wasn't? I considered myself a regular Houdini after sneaking away from Charlotte's father long enough to go in the jewelry store. I had originally went in to find my mother something even though the woman had every piece of jewelry ever made to be worn by a woman. I looked at the bracelets last and right as I decided that nothing would strike Mom's fancy I saw Bella's bracelet. Well, it wasn't hers yet but that was something I fixed as soon as a very eager saleswoman made her way to me.

It was simple but beautiful all the same. It was silver with blue stones...which the sales lady named but I'm a guy and I definitely let that piece of information slip into one ear and out the other. I just knew it would looked really great on Bella.

I turned and made my way back down to where Bella sat, along side a bowl of popcorn.

"I put in Lonestar State of Mind"

"Here, I got this for you in L.A."

I held the box out to her. She knew what the color of said box meant and she looked hesitant to take it.

"Edward, as a girl it is burned in my brain what this color means. Tiffany blue is heaven here on Earth. Please tell me you're just recycling"

I shook my head with a slight smile and told her to open it.

You would have thought I told her there was rabid animal in there as slow and cautious as she took the top off.

She gasped. _Good or Bad?_

She smiled. _Good._

"Edward, it's beautiful. But why did you buy me this? You already bought me something for my birthday, not to mention the beautiful Calla Lilly." She had nothing but curiosity in her eyes when she looked up from her gift.

"I saw it and thought of you. Besides this isn't for your birthday...it's just for...because." I finished with a shrug.

"Put it on me?" She asked handing the box back to me.

"You're not mad I bought you something?" I was genuinely shocked. She sometimes got upset when I'd buy her a slushy from Sonic.

"Uh, no I'm not upset. It's a Tiffany bracelet and yes, I'm sure it was crazy expensive and that I'm not thrilled about, but it's beautiful and well...it's nice to know you thought of me while you were gone." Her voice got small at the end of explanation.

"Believe me Bella, I thought of you plenty." My voice was small too.

I latched the bracelet on her small wrist and she turned it over to see the bracelet from all sides.

"I don't know how I'm ever going to make this up to you."

I shrugged and sat back against the couch, "You don't need to. It's a gift."

She leaned over and kissed my cheek before settling back down next to me. She put the popcorn bowl in my lap and covered both of us up with the blanket she pulled off the back of the love seat across the room.

"Gift or not, one day I'm going to make you feel what you make me feel."

I looked down at her. Her face was forward watching Baby run over Tink. She laughed and I smiled.

"What do I make you feel Bella?"

She looked up at me and with a small smile. Her answer was soft, so soft I almost didn't hear it.

"Everything."

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Ok...so what did ya think? Are you likin EPOV?

The next chapter is already started and we'll see what went down during Bella's date with Marcus.

**Lonestar State of Mind** is the funniest movie I've ever seen. It has Josh Jackson, Jamie King, and John Mellencamp in it. Hilarious. Go rent or buy now!

Oh and I posted the picture of Bella's bracelet on my profile page and on Twitter if you follow me there ...**hayboo05**!

Stories I'm reading that I think you should be too:

**Chancing Fate** by **JMCullen09**. CFWard is just all kinds of sexaaaay & TurtleneckElla is kickass. Go read. Now! She also writes **The Unaccompanied Soul**...and well...what more do I need to say? Oh! She's amazing and I love her hard. =)

**Last Tango in Forks** by **AwesomeSauce416** -All I have to say about this is have an extra pair of panties ready. Cause it's a HOT in Forks! Oh and because of this story...I will never look at butter the same again.

Thanks! Love!

-rach.


	10. Chapter Nine

Anyone still out there? I would totally understand if the answer is a big 'ol NO! Lol.

I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for the delay in this chapter. I won't re-tell the excuses that I have because most of you who care...know what they are.

Anyway...I really am SO sorry.

Thanks to my beta ..**kellyprovence** for getting this back to me super fast! She's awesome.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight is SM's. This is mine. K? =)

* * *

"_Everything."_

I groaned and pulled a pillow over my head. It had been four days since I lost all coherency and said that Edward made me feel…everything.

I'm still not sure what made me be so honest about something like that. I almost never kept things from Edward, but this, this was different.

I was completely surprised when he gave me the bracelet, I didn't want to seem overly excited, but I was. He had thought about me while in a different city… with his girlfriend. I mean, I didn't think he would just forget that I existed, but I didn't think he'd go out of his way to buy me something either.

The look in his eyes when he asked me what he made me feel was different. I'd never seen him look at me like that. It was intense. I saw anger, confusion, sadness, and hope. I couldn't place a reason for any of these emotions.

To say I was confused was an understatement. I was officially with Marcus, but I wanted Edward more now than I ever had.

I cared about Marcus; he was wonderful. Our date was awesome; we had dinner with my parents and then spent a couple hours by ourselves. I learned so much about him. His parents had been married for twenty-seven years, he had two younger sisters, they were twins and he didn't like fish. My dad almost chocked on his steak when Marcus announced that morsel of information.

He was very open to me and answered basically any question I asked him. In fact, most of the night was centered on getting to know him. I didn't mind that he wasn't really asking me a lot of questions though because when he did, I wasn't as giving.

There was about twenty minutes during the night that he asked about Edward and our friendship. I didn't mind answering most of those questions. It's when he started digging in the 'no one's allowed' file that I had to stop the game.

He wanted to know how strong my feelings for Edward were, and if I was just using him as a way to distract myself from Edward.

I didn't really want to answer either one of those questions.

I think we both knew that I was really hung up on my best friend. I didn't say it out loud, but Marcus knew that I had feelings for Edward before this all started. I'm not saying that it's completely his doing because I knew I shouldn't let him waste his time on me, but I just to be the girl someone wanted. Selfish, right?

The night ended well though. He drove me home and we kissed before I walked into the house. It wasn't long or passionate; it was just a sweet and short one. I didn't feel the spark I wanted, but I figured I had too high of an expectation. Right before I headed into the house, he handed me a CD. It had _Bella's Bday Mix_ written on it.

"Thank you, I love mixes," I said honestly.

"You're welcome. I hope they make you think of me."

He gave me another quick kiss and then left.

-AtH-

Sunday, I turned eighteen.

I woke up around ten in the morning and instantly smelled pancakes and bacon. Mom always made this breakfast on my birthday. What made it extra special was I'd also have it for dinner. _Don't judge…_

I walked down stairs and into the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks. There on our small kitchen table was a huge bouquet of red roses and a single pink Calla Lilly.

"They're beautiful aren't they?" Mom asked, wiping her hands off on her apron.

I could only nod. I had only received flowers once before in my whole life. I had just had my tonsils taken out; Edward sent me daisies. Well, I'm sure it was his mom, but he insisted it was his idea.

"I hope they don't smell like bacon forever," Mom teased.

"I'd be okay with that. You know how I love my bacon," I answered slowly.

"Well, go on then, open the cards. I'm dying over here."

I walked toward the table and picked up the card that was with the roses.

The card read: _Dear Bella, I hope your birthday is as wonderful as you are. There are eighteen roses for each year you've made the world a better and more beautiful place. Always yours, Marcus._

The cheese factor was high but the sweet points canceled that out. They were beautiful, after all.

"The roses are from Marcus," I explained to Mom.

"Oh, well they're beautiful, Bella."

I reached for the card with the Calla Lilly, and when I looked closer, I saw eighteen snack size packets of M&M's. I didn't need to read the card to know who this was from.

_Bella, I suck for not being there, but I expect you to share your M&M's. I hope you get your birthday wish, best friend. Love, Edward._

"Let me guess," Mom started as she read the card with me, "These are from Edward?"

I laughed because I'm sure she had figured that out before I even came down the stairs.

"Yup."

"Well, the boy certainly knows how to make up for being a butt head."

"Mom, he's fine. I can't expect him to here for every birthday," I reasoned, smelling the Calla Lilly.

"I know that, but still."

I rolled my eyes and started helping Mom finish up breakfast.

The rest of the day was great. Mom and Dad, together, got me a couple DVD's I'd been asking for and a gift card to my favorite restaurant in Port Angeles. Mom gave me Grandma Taylor's diamond earrings and a Coach purse. Dad got me a new camera all charged and ready to go.

After all the birthday stuff, Mom and I took a walk. I hadn't really been able to speak to her about anything as of late. We barely had enough time to say hi on the phone.

She asked me about how things with Marcus were looking. I tried to stay vague but Mom knew my defense tactics, mainly because they were also hers. She knew why I didn't want to give up the info.

"So how are things with your best friend?" She asked stopping to pick a wildflower.

"Same as they always are, Mom."

"Things seem different. You talk about him differently and you were extra upset he wouldn't be here."

I sighed. I didn't wear anything on my sleeve, but Mom had a way of finding the emotion I kept locked away.

"I guess it's just him having that thing for a girlfriend, and we'll be going to school soon. Different schools."

"Well that's true, but it doesn't mean you guys have to stop being friends."

"I know, and that's not the part I'm afraid of, it's just…I want him, Mom, but this isn't the time to tell him. Not this close to graduation."

Mom's arm pulled me close.

"Bella, sweetie, you should let Edward decide if the timing's bad. Relationships, of any kind, are made up of two people."

"I know, but I don't want him to say that he could never care about me like that. Putting your heart on the line is a grand idea until it's stomped to smithereens."

Mom laughed.

"You're so dramatic," she said squeezing me tight.

"I'm scared of losing him," I replied.

"Sometimes you have to risk everything in order to win everything, Bella."

My mom might have been flighty, scatterbrained, and she might hate my truck, but she was my hero.

Marcus called me around dinner time so I couldn't talk to him long. He asked how my day was, and I told him the flowers were beautiful.

I was bummed when I went to bed and hadn't heard from Edward. I was really hoping he would call me or something. I missed him.

When I got the text from him, I couldn't help the huge smile that spread across my face. He hadn't forgotten. The conversation wasn't long or anything but it was just what I needed to sleep peacefully.

Monday brought a boring day at school. I never really appreciated how much of my time Edward took up until he wasn't there to take it. Also, Mom left. I hated saying bye to her but it was easier knowing I'd see her again in just a couple of months.

Marcus called me that night and we arranged for him to come visit. He'd be here Saturday morning and we would go to PA and hang out. We made it official right before I jumped off the line. We were together.

I tried to ignore the fact that I didn't feel as happy about this as I probably should have. These things take time, right?

I didn't have any real reservations about the decision until Edward came home. As soon as I knew he was back in Forks, I had this relentless craving for him.

It wasn't any specific thing I craved, it was just him as a whole. I loved everything about him.

After the failed attempt at sneaking in and him threatening my life with a plunger, things were normal, like we hadn't just spent five days apart.

I told him about the doctor's appointment I had. It was for birth control… I mean didn't plan on jumping Marcus' bones anytime soon but it's always better to be safe than sorry. I did leave the reason for the doctor's appointment out of the conversation, though. I didn't really feel comfortable having that be a topic of discussion right now.

We made plans for me to skip with him the next day, which was great because I didn't want to share him with Charlotte yet.

When I told Edward that Marcus and I were together, I saw something flash in his eyes. It was only there for a minute, and then he reined it in.

Then Edward gave me the most beautiful piece of jewelry I'd ever seen. I wanted to be mad at him for buying me something but what girl in their right mind would be mad about getting a Tiffany's bracelet? Exactly.

After, what I am dubbing 'everything-gate', things were different. Not weird but different. Edward kept me close and I would catch him sneaking glances when he thought I wasn't looking. I wanted to ask what was up, but I decided against it. What if he told me that I made things uncomfortable? I didn't want to know that. I was a coward. Sue me.

Now, I'm laying here trying to figure out what's been happening over the last four days.

Edward has been distant toward…Charlotte. At first, I thought I was imagining it. I mean he was head over heels when they left for LA, but the more I watched, the more I saw the space between them.

He wouldn't hold her hand on his own anymore, he was at my house pretty much every day after school, which meant he wasn't with her and he broke their weekend plans yesterday at lunch.

To say Charlotte was upset would be saying ice is luke warm. She kept glaring at me when no one was looking, but I didn't let it bother me, simply because I had no idea what Edward was doing either.

I glanced at my alarm clock and saw it was five-thirty. Edward would be here in a few minutes. I was going to ask him what was up. I was his best friend, he needed to tell me.

I got a text from him saying he was pulling into the drive way so I replied telling him to just come on up.

I was fixing the pillows on my bed when I heard his footsteps on the stairs.

"Hey," he said in greeting.

"Hi, what's up?"

"Not much," he responded, taking a seat on my bed.

"So, what's goin' on with you and Char?"

He suddenly found my blanket very interesting. I went and nudged him so he'd scoot over.

"Things not so peachy anymore?" I asked.

"She's different once you've spent time with her, she's not who I thought she was."

He said that like she had kicked his cat or something.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Bella. You told me from the beginning this wouldn't end well."

I didn't miss that he had said it would end. _Thank God._

"So, what are you going to do?"

He didn't answer for a minute. I started to get up and offer him a drink but he grabbed my hand and kept me on the bed.

"I'm going to break up with her tomorrow night; we're having dinner."

My nose scrunched.

"I thought you canceled your weekend plans with her…"

"I did but I can't put this off anymore. I think I got her hopes up when I told her I wanted to go eat after all."

"I see. Well, I really am sorry you're not happy." I said, while I laid my head on his shoulder.

I felt his cheek press into my hair.

"Trust me, right now, I'm very happy."

I felt myself smile. Charlotte didn't make him happy…I did.

* * *

Not the longest chapter but I felt like it should end there. I'm going to try to stay on this writing train...and get the next chapter out asap.

Story length has come to the forefront of my mind & I honestly see this story having about five or six more chapters. That's tentative but I worked on the outline last night & that looks to about cover everything that needs covered.

Thanks again for those of you still reading this. ily!

-rach.


	11. Chapter Ten

Hi! I'm so sorry about the time it's taken to update. RL just isn't being very nice to me lately.

**kellyprovence** is my awesome beta! Thanks for everything!

**Disclaimer**: SM owns Twilight. I own this.

* * *

"What do you mean exactly?"

I sighed and closed my eyes. I had been trying to leave the restaurant for the last twenty minutes, but Charlotte wouldn't let this go.

"It means the same thing it did the last ten times you asked me," I responded, completely past the stage where I felt sorry for doing this to her.

"Well, damn Edward, you bring me out to dinner and then break up with me. The least you can do is talk to me about it," She whispered sharply, while a fresh wave of tears made their way down her cheeks.

_Okay, so maybe I still felt bad._

I wanted to ask her why she was whispering, but I figured that would probably just piss her off further and she would whisper more and maybe louder.

I leaned forward on the table.

"Listen Charlotte, I'm sorry if this seemed sudden to you, and I feel bad if you thought this was just a regular dinner date, but you had to feel the difference after L.A."

She shook her head and leaned on the table as well.

"Edward, I don't understand, we were so happy. What changed on the trip?"

I didn't know if I should answer that with the full truth and nothing but. I mean, I didn't really think, _'well if you must know, I realized, in full force, how much Bella means to me and I want to be with her. A lot. More than you,'_ would go over well. At least not in a public setting.

I looked away. I didn't want to lie to her. She deserved the truth but I didn't really know how to tell Charlotte and not feel awful for not telling Bella first.

It wouldn't matter much if I did tell Bella; she was with Marcus. Seriously, what was so great about a college guy_? Um, how about the fact that he hasn't been afraid to show her how he feels about her?_ Yeah, well, who asked you? _You did._ Go away.

I didn't want to be that guy who waits until it's too, late and then hear Bella say it's too late. I almost backed out of breaking up with Charlotte because of Bella being with someone else. I couldn't do that to her though, and honestly I didn't want to do that to Bella either. She didn't like Charlotte and I didn't want there to be any more distance between us.

"I just realized that maybe we were moving too fast and that I'm not ready for such a serious relationship with you."

I figured that answered all her questions, was truthful, and would possibly be a ticket out of here.

I was wrong.

It created more questions, it was only half the truth, and it most definitely did not get me out of here.

"Wait, with _me_? So with someone else you would have been fine?" Charlotte asked, completely forgetting about her self-induced whisper rule.

"That's not necessarily what I meant, no."

"It's Bella isn't it? You're breaking up with me for a girl who doesn't even like you like that! Edward, she has a boyfriend. A really great boyfriend who cares about her and isn't afraid to show it. Over and over from what I hear."

Surely she wasn't already having sex with Marcus… I knew she wasn't a virgin but they hadn't been dating for all that long.

"That's none of your business. Bella's life and what she does with it is off limits to you," I said seriously.

"Oh please, I know more about Bella's life, right now, than you do."

I didn't want that to be true. I didn't want this girl who couldn't stand Bella, and in turn Bella couldn't stand, to know more about my best friend than I did. I didn't believe her, until she started listing off what it was she knew.

"Let's see, did you know she went to the doctor the other day?"

I nodded because I did know that.

"Did Bella tell you what she went to the doctor for? Don't worry, she's not sick. No, it was much more recreational than that. I believe Bella got a prescription for birth control." Charlotte's mood had shifted when she saw I was lost.

Why would Bella need birth control? Oh…right. The thought of Bella having sex with Marcus made my stomach turn.

"What's your point, Charlotte?" I asked, not masking my growing annoyance.

"You don't even know her anymore. Do you really think she's going to dump her hot, sweet, college aged boyfriend for her best friend who hasn't had the balls to tell her that he's had this pathetic little crush on her… the whole time he's known her?"

The words stung because Charlotte was probably right, Bella wasn't going to see me like she sees Marcus. Her words also helped me make up my mind; I was going to tell Bella how I felt. Tonight.

"I'm sorry if you're hurt, but you should really leave Bella out of this. I'm going to pay the bill and leave enough money with the server for your cab fare home. Night, Charlotte."

I felt bad the whole way out of the restaurant until right before I opened the door to leave, Charlotte opened her damn mouth again.

"Bella was telling Alice about how much she loved him yesterday. She said she was going to tell him tonight because she didn't want it to be too late. Looks like you are the only person who's too late, Edward."

As I exited the restaurant, I silently wished I hadn't given the server the cab fare.

-AtH-

"Dude, you just left her there?"

I sighed.

"Yea, I know it sounds like a douchy thing to do, but I left her cab fare."

Emmett laughed and shook his head.

"So, are you going to tell Bella now or what?" Jasper asked, sitting down next to me.

I nodded.

"Yeah, I just sent her a text asking her to come over."

Just then my phone beeped with a response.

**Alright, I'll be over in about an hour. Gotta do something first.**

I took a deep breath. That something was probably telling Marcus she loved him. I wonder how she was going to do it. Would she say all these sweet things or would she just say it with no lead up?

"Well, good luck I guess, man. I'm sure no matter what, Bella will be cool." Jasper's words did little to make me feel better.

-AtH-

"Hey, what's going on?"

I looked up from my phone when I heard Bella's voice. She didn't look extremely happy like I thought she would after just telling her boyfriend she loved him.

"Hey, nothing just checking Facebook. What's up with you? What's wrong," I asked, patting the spot next to me on the bed.

She crawled in next to me and sighed.

"I broke up with Marcus."

I think I stopped breathing. I couldn't even look at her. She broke up with him?

"Edward, are you alright?"

I shook my head to clear it.

"What's wrong?"

She mistook my head clearing shake for a 'no I'm not alright' shake.

"No, I'm fine. Umm, are you okay?"

She shrugged.

"I guess. I feel like a horrible person though. It caught him so off guard."

If she broke up with him then why did she tell Alice she was going to tell him she loved him? Maybe they were going to pick it up again later? Why were girls so damn confusing? Can't they just say what they feel? _Ok…shutting up now…_

"Helloooo. Earth to Edward," Bella asked in an amused voice.

"Sorry. Zoned out," I answered, finally looking at her.

"I'm so glad my heartbreak isn't interrupting your selfish time."

Her tone was a bit snippy, but I suppose I earned that. Wait, heartbreak? So she was really upset about the break up? Why did she do it then? _I'm going to drive myself insane…_

"Hey, if I need to come back then just let me know. I'm not sitting here if you're just going have an inner monologue."

Yeah, she was kind of pissed at me.

"No, I'm sorry. Stay. Why did you break up with him? It does seem kind of sudden," I asked with genuine curiosity.

She leaned her head back against the head board of my bed and closed her eyes.

"It just seemed unfair to him to keep pretending I wanted to be with him. I mean I like him, a lot, but when there's someone else that you love, it seems kind of wrong to be with someone you only like a lot."

Her voice got really quiet toward the end and I found myself trying not to breathe so that I could hear her.

She loves someone else? Where the hell have I been? Why can't she love me?

"You're doing it again, Edward," She said without even opening her eyes.

"What are you thinking about anyway, it seems kind of important," she asked, her eyes finding mine.

This was it, I was just going to come out and say it. What did I have to lose? _Your dignity, self-respect, your best friend…_ Shut up.

I turned so I was facing her. I wanted to be able to see the surprise, shock, and/or panic in her face. So I was a masochist, sue me.

"Listen, Bella, this may not be the best time to tell you this, but in my defense, I had planned on telling you this before I knew you broke up with Marcus."

She nodded so I continued.

"We've been friends forever, and you know how much I care about you, right?"

"Yes," she said hesitantly.

"Ok, good. Look, I…what I mean is…I know this could mess things up but…I like you, Bella."

You know when you always wish for time to stop because something great is happening and you never want to let it go? Yeah, well time stopped and nothing great was happening. Bella didn't say anything didn't blink, hell, I don't even think she was breathing. She just kept looking at me.

"Like me?"

I nodded.

"Like me how?" She asked, wringing her hands together.

"I like, like you, Bella," I answered.

Again, she didn't say anything. I wanted to take it back, but I didn't see that helping my case any. I just sat there and waited. I waited almost five minutes before she said anything. You've heard of seven minutes in Heaven? Yeah, well I just had five minutes in Hell.

"Oh my God," she said quietly.

That's what I waited five minutes for. Then she just left; she just walked out on me. I wanted to hear the words, "I like you too" tonight but all I heard was the click of my door as she closed it.

I wanted to just sit there and think about how I could have done it better. I should have said something different, but I didn't just sit there. I wasn't going to just let her run away without something other than 'Oh my God'. She was going to talk to me and tell me who it was she loved.

It might have been a messed up way of thinking, but if I was going to have a broken heart, Bella was the one that was going to give it me.

* * *

So, not the longest chapter but I just didn't feel like it needed to go on any further.

As of right now, I have one more regular chapter planned for AtH & then the epi.

I want to thank all the reviewers & readers for sticking it out with me. The next chapter most def will be up before two more months go by.

=)

If I don't update before Saturday, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!

**Twitter me: hayboo05**

-rach.


	12. Chapter Eleven

_i'm so sorry. that's all i can really say & it doesn't even come close to how i really feel about this update taking months to finish. _

_thanks to everyone who's still here. _

_**kellyprovence** is amazing & i've been so lucky to have her as my beta for this story & FHL. 3_

_here we go. last one._

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. _**

* * *

I heard his bedroom door open and his feet quickly hitting the floor. He was running after me. I couldn't help but smile even though tears were starting to flow down my cheeks. _He didn't want me to leave…_

He slowed down at the top of the stairs. I imagine that's when he realized that I wasn't actually trying to get away.

"I thought you left," he said, sounding a bit short of breath.

I shook my head but didn't look at him. I didn't know if my voice would work yet.

"Why'd you run?" he whispered.

My voice cracked on the first attempt of my explanation so I cleared my throat and tried again.

"I didn't mean to, I just needed to figure out some stuff without you looking at me," I answered quietly.

"What could you have figured out in the five minutes you've been out here, Bella?" his tone wasn't mean; it actually had an amused sound to it.

"I'm scared is all?"

"Of what, of how I feel about you?" The way he asked made it sound as if he was shocked. How could he think I wouldn't be a little apprehensive about all this? I thought for sure we'd only ever be best friends and then he said _those_ words.

I didn't answer him but sat down on the bottom step of the staircase. I heard him behind me but he didn't sit on the same step I was on. He chose the one above me.

"Swan, I've loved you for so long, I can't even remember when I started. It just happened one day, I think. You know me and you've always been exactly what I needed. It took me a long time to admit to myself that I wanted you as much as I needed you. If that makes sense at all."

I wiped the tears off my cheeks, but they were replaced with new ones quickly. It did make sense because I needed him long before I wanted him, but what does that change? We'll be going to different colleges soon and what if that ruins everything?

I asked him these things. I needed to know before I said anything else.

"We have almost our entire senior year left, Swan, and we'll figure it all out as we go. This is something I can't and won't do without you, kind of like that roller-coaster when we were nine," he said with a slight smile, "I need you to hold my hand and tell me I won't get hurt and I'll do the same for you. I'll hold your hand and keep you safe. I promise."

I shook my head, "You can't promise that I won't get hurt."

I wanted him to be able to promise that, but he couldn't be sure what was going to happen. I couldn't promise him that I wouldn't be a horrible girlfriend that would make him regret ever saying any of this.

"No, I can't, but I can promise to try my hardest to keep you safe from everything and everyone, including me."

"Edward, I just, what if this messes up who we are? Are you going to be okay with just walking up to me and treating me like a girlfriend and not your best friend? Then going back to just being friends if that's what we decide is best?"

I could see him thinking about this. Would he just walk up to me tomorrow and kiss me? Hold my hand in the hall? What would our parents think? So many damn questions.

"I want to be whatever you want me to be. If you want us to be just friends, I'll do that. I'm just tired of keeping this in, Bella. I wanted you to know how I felt about you. Even if you don't love me back, I'm okay with telling you how I feel."

I tilted my head a bit. "What?"

"You love Marcus and I respect that. I'm sorry for talking about us like we're a couple or that it's something that might happen."

"I don't love Marcus. I broke up with him remember?"

"So, you didn't tell him that you loved him?"

I shook my head. "No, why would you think that?"

He closed his eyes but didn't say anything.

I didn't know what to do now. I wanted to be with him I knew that, but how would I make it happen? Could it really to be this easy? I knew I had to say something so I said the first thing that came to mind…

"I love you, too."

He stayed silent so long I had to look behind me to make sure he was still there, and when I did, his eyes caught mine. They were bright and happy. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

_Yeah, maybe it could be that easy._

**The following October…**

"Everything changes, Swan…"

I kissed his lips.

"Yeah, but I hope this stays exactly how it is."

Edward sighed.

"So do I, only maybe with us being in the same city and not having to worry about falling off a twin size bed."

I laughed because he was right. It was my turn to visit him in Chicago, and these dorm beds were awful for one person let alone a couple trying to quietly make love while a roommate pretended to sleep in the next bed.

Not that we were trying to make love right now, but you get the point.

"I'm glad you have a full size," he said, with a waggle of his eyebrows.

He would be driving to visit me in two weekends and I didn't have a roommate or a twin size bed. We had a lot more fun in Indiana.

"You're such a horn dog and I only have a full size because my roommate got a communicable disease and moved out."

"Hey, take luck where you can get it, Swan."

I looked at him, his eyes bright green with a smirk on his face. He looked at me like I was the whole reason the world turned.

"Believe me…I do."

* * *

_& that's all folks. it might not please everyone but it is what it is. _

_Again..., I want to thank anyone still reading this. I can't put into words how sorry I am…I know how fail I've been._

_If you read FHL …I'm working on that again as well._

_& I'm writing another story but I'll have that one done before I post a single chapter. should be ready by july!_

_Thanks again to every person whose read, alerted, rec'd &/or reviewed At the Hip. I appreciate it more than you know!_

**_-rach._**


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